While the “consciously uncoupled” duo may seem like they’ve got it all figured out, Gwyneth said it’s a struggle to be on the same page after a divorce ― no matter how evolved their relationship may seem.
“It’s like you’re ending a marriage, but you’re still in a family. That’s how it will be forever,” Gwyneth said on The Drew Barrymore Show on Wednesday.
“Some days it’s not as good as it looks. We also have good days and bad days, but I think it’s driving towards the same purpose of unity and love and what’s best for the kids.”
The actor and the Coldplay lead singer announced their split in 2014 after 10 years of marriage, with their divorce finalised two years later. Together they share son Moses, 14, and daughter Apple, 16.
Gwyneth said that in order to move on from the pain of her marriage ending, she had to confront the idea that “just because we break up we can’t love the things about the person anymore.”
“You are also holding the other person in this sphere of humanity,” the Oscar winner continued, noting that both she and Chris committed to radical accountability and responsibility-sharing in their relationship.
But their guiding principle as parents was prioritising the needs of their children.
“I really wanted my kids to not be traumatised, if it were possible. Chris and I committed to putting them first and that’s harder than it looks because some days you really don’t want to be with the person that you are getting divorced from,” she explained. “But if you’re committed to having family dinner, then you do it.”
“And you take a deep breath and you look the person in the eye and you remember your pact and you smile and you hug ... and recommit to this new relationship that you are trying to foster,” she continued.
As for why Gwyneth and Chris split in the first place, the Goop founder previously revealed that they ”never fully settled into being a couple” and that she always felt “a bit of unease and unrest” in their marriage.
The turning point came during Gwyneth’s 38th birthday celebration in Tuscany, Italy.
“I don’t recall when it happened, exactly. I don’t remember which day of the weekend it was or the time of day,” she wrote in an essay for British Vogue in August. “But I knew — despite long walks and longer lie-ins, big glasses of Barolo and hands held — my marriage was over.”
The two couples frequently go on double dates, travel together and celebrate holidays as one big, blended family, with Gwyneth sharing sweet snaps of their adventures together on Instagram.
In March, she posted a photo of a family ski trip in honour of Chris’s birthday, writing, “Happy Birthday to this hilarious, joy seeking, musical genius who gave me that guy in the middle there (and apple, too). We 💝you.”