'I Refuse To Attend My Sister's Intimate Wedding Because I Can't Bring My Kid, Am I In The Wrong?'

"I told her to just say you want a "my child" free wedding and get over with it."
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“Am I the asshole for ‘throwing a tantrum’ because my child wasn’t invited to a childfree wedding?”

This was the question presented to the subreddit /r/AmITheAsshole by user Eastern-Second-2528 this week about their sister’s intimate, immediate family only wedding.

Childfree weddings are exactly what they sound like — weddings without children present. It differs from couple to couple, some want no children whatsoever, some allow children of siblings and close family and some say no children but anybody who’s above the age of 12 is invited until a certain time.

It’s not all that uncommon. In fact, Sarah Wintersteen, a wedding planner in Dallas, told Glamour magazine that around 60% of the couples that come to her opt for a childfree wedding.

Plus, of course you get to decide who does and does not go to your wedding! If you can’t be picky for a day dedicated to celebrating you and your love, when can you be?

However, with this wedding, it’s not quite so simple.

What if the child not invited is... the only person not invited?

The Reddit user further clarified saying that when the wedding invitation arrived, they saw that the wedding is childfree and their child is not invited.

They said: “My child is 17yo, going 18 soon. Btw my child is the only one under 18 in our family (and in the groom’s family) so she is the only one being excluded.”

Uh. So. Not quite a child, CHILD, then.

The user went on to call their sister to ask if she was ‘fking serious’ to which their sister responded: “I’m sorry but we have decided we want a childfree wedding.”

The user responded saying: “just say you want a ‘my child’ free wedding and get over with it because this is exactly what you are doing.”

The siblings argued and the user was told they were throwing a tantrum and that their child didn’t have to be included in everything.

The post ended with the user saying: “I told her that we won’t be attending her wedding then and she called me an asshole for not supporting her.”


The top comment from user /u/itshowswhoyouare said: “I’m proud of you for defending your daughter OP. The people acting like she’s not a person with feelings, an entire human being because she is 17 are entirely disgusting and there’s absolutely no justification for it.

“This isn’t some friend and OP’s daughter isn’t some auxiliary guest. She’s a member of the family, and the only one being excluded.”

Other users feel that there is more at play with KrispyRaisins commenting: “I’m all for childfree weddings, but when this is only excluding one child and that child is very soon to be a legal adult... it feels like there is something else going on here.”

However, FaithlessnessFit3805 put it perfectly when they said: “A seventeen year old is not a child that would disrupt a wedding. If your daughter is the only “child” excluded then I support whatever you decide to do.”

Families, eh?