Kelly Osbourne joined actor Dax Shepard on the latest episode of his Armchair Expert podcast to talk frankly about the difficulties she faced staying sober during the coronavirus pandemic.
The two discussed their histories with addiction and how they both dealt with recent relapses.
Dax – who is married to fellow actor Kristen Bell – revealed in September that he relapsed after he took prescription pain pills following surgery for a motorcycle accident after 16 years of sobriety.
Kelly said last month that she relapsed on her alcoholism after nearly four years of sobriety.
She told the host it followed difficulties with Alcoholics Anonymous during the Covid-19 pandemic.
“When quarantine happened and the world changed, I started to change, too,” she said.
Kelly explained that she didn’t like attending online meetings, stating that in-person meetings meant “everything to me” and credited them with helping her to “figure out who I am”.
She said she grew “angry and resentful” when she “got nothing out of” the Zoom meetings and eventually quit the program.
The 36-year-old said she convinced herself that she was “normal” and no longer an addict.
“Slowly but surely, I stopped calling my sponsor,” Kelly recalled. “Slowly but surely, I stopped connecting with my girls. Slowly but surely, one girl relapsed. Then another girl relapsed, and then all my friends relapsed.”
And although those she was close to in the program were struggling with their sobriety during the pandemic, Kelly said she was proud of herself for making it “all the way through like the worst part of the lockdown” sober.
“I don’t know what happened. Everything started to go fucking amazing,” Kelly said of the time. “I went, ‘Oh, I’m normal now, I’m happy. I don’t need any of this fucking shit anymore. I lasted this whole pandemic without anything!’”
She then explained that copping this attitude led to a domino effect that jeopardised her sobriety.
“And then I just sat by a pool, by myself, and I saw this girl drinking a glass of Champagne, and I was like, ‘I’ll have one of them.’ And I just had one and it was fine. And I had a great time, and I didn’t think anything of it.
“And then a couple of weeks went by and I thought, ‘I did it then, I can do it again.’”
She said this restraint “did not last long.”
“Two weeks later, done… Did embarrassing shit. Blacked out,” she said.
“In my mind, I was still in control. It wasn’t until I found myself last weekend covered in ranch dressing by my friend’s pool sunburnt, looking like a piece of shit, that I was like, ‘Maybe I don’t have this under control’.”
The daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne said her new boyfriend, whom she described as the “healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in,” helped her get back on track.
“I’m trying new forms of therapy that I haven’t done before,” she said.
Kelly’s story seemed to resonate with Shepard, who explained he’s vulnerable to relapses “when things are great.”
“I expect to be miserable,” he told Kelly. “I expect to be uncomfortable, and there’s a combination of ‘I don’t deserve it,’ one, and then two, when things are good, ‘Now I need to take it to another level.’”
- If you need help with a drinking problem, call the Alcoholics Anonymous national helpline for free on 0800 9177 650 or email help@aamail.org.
- For advice on how to reduce drinking, visit Drinkaware’s website or Alcohol Change UK.
- Find alcohol addiction services near you using this NHS tool.