Parents On The Questions Kids Asked That Made Their Jaws Drop

Nobody equipped us for this.
Carol Yepes via Getty Images

There is a certain time in every parent’s life when their child evolves from spouting cute phrases and sentences to asking questions that delight, amuse and befuddle you in equal measure.

Sometimes though, said questions will make you want to dig a pit and jump into it headfirst, never to be seen again. Case in point: the small child who asked their parent why on earth another person’s baby was so ugly. Eek.

In the spirit of showing we truly are all in this together, we asked parents to share some of the questions their kids asked that either completely floored them or made them laugh, here’s what they came up with.

If two wrongs don’t make a right, how about three?

My daughter, Emily, age five, was smacking her nine-year-old brother, Louis, in the back of the car on the way to the Trafford Centre in Manchester.

Stuck in traffic and stressed, I asked her to stop and she said, “he started it”, so I said: “well, two wrongs don’t make a right” and her question was: “How about three?”

– Emma Starrs

What was it like when things were black and white?

I think my son was about seven when he asked, “what things were like in the olden days when things were black and white.” Er no, only on the TV.

Julia Etherington

Why did they kill their dog themselves?

Today my little boys were told about the death of my sister-in-law’s dog, which happened yesterday. I explained that he had been put to sleep.

My 7 year old said: “Oh. So they killed him themselves? Why did they do that?”

Also in the sympathy card he made this morning, he wrote: “Sorry for the disaster,” which made me and my 10-year-old laugh a lot because it was so sweet and such a lovely turn of phrase.

– Marianne Trent

Why is that baby so ugly?

My three-year-old daughter (she’s now eight) pointed at a baby literally less than five feet away and asked me, “why is that baby so ugly?”.

When I whispered in her ear to not say things like that she proceeded to ask me, “Mummy, can you not talk too close to me your breath smells.” I died inside!

– Sarah Drage

Are you sure she’s in there?

When we took my seven-year-old to the cemetery to visit his granny, he asked my very sad husband: “Are you sure she’s in there? It looks very small.”

– Saima Mir

Why do the numbers never end?

Five-year-old: “Mummy, why do the numbers never end?”

Me: “Well, you just keep adding up. Anyway, it’s too late for that now.”

Five-year-old: “So you’ll tell me tomorrow... why the numbers never end?”

– Gillian Harvey

Why did you not choose me to be a girl Jesus?

Three-year-old: “Why did you not name me Jesus when I was a baby?”

Me: “Well, Jesus is generally considered a boy’s name.”

Three-year-old: “Why did you not choose me to be a girl Jesus?”

– Sara Keel

Does sex make you tired?

My 10-year-old daughter was watching a movie with me and an inappropriate moment happened. The partner said they didn’t want to have sex because they were tired. My daughter turned around and said: “Mummy, does sex make you tired?”

I was surprised and giggling because I didn’t expect the question and couldn’t avoid the answer, so I said “yes” with a grin on my face. Luckily she read the situation and didn’t press further for more details.

– Shaima Ali

Is he really your son?

I was watching a Man Utd v Arsenal match one Sunday afternoon and I excitedly shouted, “Ronaldo, go on my son!”

My eldest daughter, who was seven at the time, asked me: “Is he really your son?” I laughed my head off!

– Karim Ullah

Mummy, what’s necrophilia?

My son, aged 7/8, came running up to me after school asking: “Mummy, what’s necrophilia?”

Rachael Byrne

Why do you always drive the car?

My four and five-year-old asked: “Why do you always drive the car? I want Big Jim to drive!”

Big Jim is a cat. I had a 10 minute discussion around why it needed to be me at the wheel and not the cat. We were on the way to school and were late because they both refused to go in the car unless Big Jim was driving.

– Luana Ribeira

Why’s your bum bum got a moustache?

I was in the bath with my three-year-old when he asked me: “Why’s your bum bum got a moustache?”

I have never heard pubes described in this way, but now I think about it, a bum-bum moustache is pretty accurate.

– Tara Cohen