When it comes to how long parents should leave it between having kids, there are many schools of thought.
Some people try and get all the sleep deprivation and general chaos out of the way nice and early with two under two (although guidance recommends waiting at least 18 months between babies to let the body recover), while others prefer a more stretched out approach – and given the cost of childcare, who can blame them?
Some parents might wait a decade or more before deciding to have another.
One mum has shared what she deemed to be an “unpopular opinion” on sibling age gaps on TikTok – and the general consensus in the comments section suggests she might be onto something.
Baby and toddler sleep coach Kaitlin Klimmer said having a four-year gap between kids “is the best age gap”. But why is that?
Klimmer said she didn’t choose to become pregnant four years after having her first. Sadly she experienced three miscarriages, which meant when her second child did arrive, her eldest child was of school age.
“I was getting so anxious about the growing age gap between them,” said Klimmer, “and now that we’re on the other side of that, I think the four-year age gap is unreal and I would choose it every time.”
She explained how she’d put her 16-month-old down for a nap and had accidentally fallen asleep next to her for 20 minutes. Her five-year-old, meanwhile, was quietly keeping herself occupied.
“I went and checked on her and said ‘sorry that took so long’ and she was just making her birthday invitations... for her birthday that’s in August,” said the mum, laughing. “It’s just so nice.”
Parents flocked to the comments to share their two cents on the age gap and why it’s beneficial.
“It’s also great because the older one doesn’t get jealous of the attention the baby is getting,” one person replied.
“100% agree! Mine are two years apart and it was brutal. Everyone I knew with [a] 3-4 year age gap seemed to have an easier time,” said another.
The larger gap also makes financial sense – not just from a childcare point of view, as you’re not having to pay for two young children to go to nursery or a childminder’s, but also if you choose to pay for their higher education.
People undergoing fertility treatment also said they found comfort in her video, as they too had been anxious about a bigger age gap.
Not everyone was convinced four years is the best, however. “Me and my brother are four years apart,” said one person in the comments. “We never had a single thing in common or wanted to do the same stuff. Family holidays were a nightmare. No thanks.”
But there were also plenty of adults with four-year age gaps between them and their siblings who chipped in to say they were really close.
We asked the good folk of Twitter what they think is the perfect age gap between siblings. Here’s what they had to say....