No matter what anyone says, you know that Christmas pudding is the work of the devil. All those steamed raisins and dark glacé cherries, not to mention the brandy butter slathered in every orifice.
What was wrong with good old mince pies for dessert?
Here are 9 (of the many) reasons you know that your hatred of this festive food is completely legit.
1. It takes over a month to fully mature.
How demanding can a pudding be?
2. It leaves a horrible coating on the roof of your mouth.
3. It wants you to set it on fire and burn your house down.
A cheeseboard never presents such a fire risk.
4. It takes forever to steam.
Everyone moans about the turkey, but the pud is attention seeking too.
5. It makes people forget that chocolate yule logs are the best.
Easy, stress free, and delicious.
6. It contains hideous candied peel.
Lurking about waiting to ruin Christmas.
7. And so many other anonymous dried fruits.
Can we all just agree to stop putting raisins in surprising places?
8. It encourages your uncle to play practical jokes.
You never find a filthy old penny floating in your sticky toffee pudding.
9. It really only gets served because it is traditional.
So can we all just move on now?