Risk Of Penile Fractures Goes... Up At Christmas, Doctors Warn

Ho, ho, h... oh god.
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People are being warned not to rock too hard around the Christmas tree this festive season, as doctors have shared that they often see a significant increase in penile injuries during this time of year – namely fractures.

Yes, really – a new study on this has just been published in the December edition of the British Journal of Urology International.

It’s not overly common, but if a penis is violently twisted or bent when erect (usually as a result of certain sex positions), the blood vessels can burst and can result in something known as a penile fracture.

Doctors at Ludwig Maximilian University in Munich, Germany, say that injury is “often heralded by an audible crack followed by severe pain” and should be treated as a medical emergency.

According to the medical experts, those suffering from the injury will also experience a rapid loss of erection (somewhat unsurprisingly), swelling and bruising.

The team at the German university investigated whether the incidence of penile fractures increased during Christmas using German hospital data for 3,421 people (!) who sustained such injuries between 2005 and 2021.

And sure enough, they discovered that the rate of penile fractures increased during the festive period, adding: “If every day was like Christmas, 43% more penile fractures would have occurred in Germany from 2005 onwards.”

The study also found penile fractures “occur most likely during sex in unconventional scenarios” – mainly when sex is being had in an “unusual location” or as part of an affair.

And it’s not just Christmas either – their findings also uncovered the fact that the risk of penile fracture increased during weekends and over the summer.

“Based on our analyses, penile fractures occur in periods when couples are enjoying moments of relaxation such as Christmas, weekends, and summer,” they wrote.

“Even though we cannot, of course, recommend against having sex during these periods, our findings ring the alarm bell (and not the jingle bells).”

Well... Merry Christmas everyone?

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