No parent wants to hear the words – or even suspect – that their child is being bullied. But unfortunately it’s a reality many face.
Research from the Anti-Bullying Alliance, involving over 13,000 pupils aged between seven and 15 in the UK, found one in four respondents reported being bullied “a lot or always”.
Meanwhile, disabled children and those with special educational needs were around twice as likely to be bullied as their peers.
How prevalent is online bullying?
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) estimates that around one in five children aged 10 to 15 years in England and Wales (19%) experienced at least one type of online bullying behaviour in the year ending March 2020 – that’s equivalent to 764,000 children.
Being called names, sworn at or insulted, and having nasty messages about them sent to them were the most common online bullying behaviour types, experienced by 10% of all children in this age group.
The same ONS report found more than half (52%) of children who experienced online bullying behaviours said they would not describe these behaviours as bullying. And one in four (26%) did not report their experiences to anyone.
What are the signs of online bullying?
With children potentially spending more time online during the holidays, and being less likely to speak up if they are being bullied, we sourced expert advice on how to spot the signs.
Matt Buttery, CEO of Triple P UK & Ireland, and honorary associate professor at University of Warwick, tells HuffPost UK: “It can be difficult to tell if your child is receiving online bullying or abuse. That said, there are a few signs to look out for, for example, a distinct change in your child’s behaviour, a loss of confidence, problems with eating and sleeping, or a withdrawal from normal family life or social occasions.”
According to Understood, a nonprofit supporting people with thinking and learning differences, children who are being bullied might also:
- Suddenly stop using the computer for fun.
- Stop using the computer in a place where you can see it, or they might turn the monitor off or change the screen when you go near.
- Seem nervous or jumpy when a text, email or notification pops up.
- Allude to bullying indirectly by saying something like “There’s a lot of drama at school” or “I have no friends.”
- Not want to go back to school or feel uneasy about going.
What can you do if you suspect your child is being bullied?
If you suspect your child is being bullied online, there are certain things you can do as a parent to help empower them to become healthy digital citizens, says Buttery.
1. Practice open communication
“By having open communication with your child, you can help educate them about the potential risks that social media and the internet pose,” he says.
It’s crucial to create a safe space for children to ask questions, or express any concerns they may be having about what they’re experiencing on social media and online, without fear of repercussions.
This is important as children will be less likely to tell you if there’s something wrong if they’re nervous about being told off.
You can engage them in conversation by showing interest in the apps or games they are using, or the people they are interacting with, Buttery suggests.
This also allows you to check out what your child is doing online, and if the content they are accessing is appropriate.
2. Stay calm
Whilst it can be distressing to hear, see or even suspect that your child is receiving online abuse, try not to panic – and this means you shouldn’t immediately remove their access to devices.
“Access to digital mediums can be really important, especially in the holidays, and you don’t know what support networks they have that you could risk cutting off,” says Buttery.
“Instead, gauge how your child is feeling and provide support and reassurance if they’re upset. If the online abuse continues, seek help from the National Bullying Helpline or NSPCC, or talk to your child’s school once they return.”
3. Reduce screen time
One way you can reduce negative online experiences is by limiting exposure.
“Encourage family quality time and create screen-free zones in your day,” suggests Buttery.
He recommends that, as a family, you could all agree on a time when you switch off your devices – such as at the dinner table or for a couple of hours in the evening – so you can spend quality time together.
“It is important to be a good role model yourself in regards to screen time,” he adds.
Help and support:
Bullying UK - Advice on bullying at work, school and cyberbullying - 0808 800 2222