It is a truth universally known by all vegetarians that giving up meat isn’t just choosing a life dedicated to vegetables, it is an ongoing commitment to years spent defending your dietary choices.
For some reason there’s nothing strangers like better than grilling you on everything from the consistency of tofu, to hypothetical situations that require you to eat a pig.
Here are nine things you can do that are guaranteed to make vegetarians angry.
1. Charge the same for a meal with meat, as one without meat.
We’re not here to substitute the carnivore’s bill.
2. Offer garlic bread as your only vegetarian option.
Here’s looking at you Aldi.
3. Presume that Portobello mushroom is a legit substitute for a burger.
Give us those halloumi bean burgers plz.
4. Remove the meat from a dish without replacing it with anything.
5. Make another bloody mushroom risotto.
The world does not need another mushroom risotto.
6. Try to start a conversation about protein content.
How knowledgable you are.
7. Ask if they miss bacon sandwiches.
You are the worst.
8. Explain how you once went 48 hours without meat.
9. Attempt to conceal meat in something as a ‘joke’.
Not today Satan.