08/08/2017 14:06 BST | Updated 08/08/2017 17:33 BST

14 Things That Might Mean Your Partner Isn’t The One

Sorry to break it to you.

No one gets into a relationship without imagining a potential future together, but just how long that future actually turns out to be is another matter.  

You can spend a lifetime trying to work out if your current partner is the one, or if there is someone else out there waiting for you, without ever knowing for sure.

But here are 14 things that people of Reddit have found might mean your long-term prospects with that person aren’t so promising.

doble.d via Getty Images

1. They worry more about getting married than who they are marrying.

“She didn’t want ‘the one’, just ‘a one’ and like, on a strict timeline. She broke up with me as soon as I signed a one year lease on an apartment because that would mean we wouldn’t move in together for at least a year, and she has to be engaged by February of 2018 and that just wont work out.”


2. They criticise the way you live your life. 

“She said that I was too selfish of a person. This is less a representation of who I am and more of who she is. She was a PhD student in Special Education and her goal was to travel to war torn countries and teach english to children with disabilities there. I design medical devices in an air conditioned office, so to her, I wasn’t willing to personally sacrifice enough to help others. She’s a wonderful person, but I realized that I could never live up to her standards of altruism.”


3. They introduce you as their friend to other people.

“We were engaged and I got introduced at a party of work people as her friend.”


4. They are the complete opposite to you.

“Every single thing was opposite about us, except for the fact that we could have a great conversation and similar references/jokes. After a while, the excitement of opposites begins to wear off and you realise that there’s no way to live together or have a long term life together, regardless of how much you love each other.”


5. They aren’t your best friend.

“I asked my best friend how he could call his SO his best friend...this lead our conversation to: “Why isn’t your SO your best friend? And if not, what are you even doing?” That was kinda mind-blowing for me, thankfully my current SO has opened my eyes to what that feels like.”


6. They aren’t someone you want to introduce to your family.

“I realised I couldn’t stay with him [ex-boyfriend] because while I couldn’t put my finger on why, I knew that I didn’t want my family or friends to meet him. He had no real redeeming values and was emotionally and sexually abusive. It was easy to stay with him because of how isolated I was, but when my mum said she wanted to come visit, I was afraid and didn’t want her to come.”


7. They don’t inspire you to keep trying.

“When I wasn’t willing to work through our problems anymore.”


Alex Potemkin via Getty Images

8. They act like a child. 

“The last nail in that coffin was when she threw a hissy fit like a two year old because she was thirsty and had to walk a little ways to get something to drink. Never been quite that embarrassed before.”


9. They don’t put in any effort.

“After a while, you feel like you are doing all the work. Begging to be paid attention to with nothing in return. Excited when they actually text you or initiate anything. I feel sad and pathetic.”


10. They make you a worse version of yourself.

“He slowly started making me doubt myself in very small ways. We all doubt ourselves sometimes, but when you start doubting even what outfit to put on in the morning because of some comments your S/O has made, time to move on.”


11. They don’t make time for you.

“When I had to schedule an appointment a month in advance to see him, he lived 5 minutes away.”


lisegagne via Getty Images

12. They change their behaviour when alcohol is involved. 

“When alcohol would get involved. Suddenly I wouldn’t exist and she would gravitate more towards the life of the party alpha male.”


13. They are less caring than people you barely know.

“My dad died in 2000 and a friend of mine brought over a tray of food to my family. We were friends, but not close enough to where we knew each other’s phone numbers or addresses. It was a complete surprise to see her. She just heard about it and looked for something to do to help. Months later, I realised it was something my girlfriend would never do. I started dating the food tray girl about 15 months later and married her.”


14. They aren’t in your future plans.

“When I couldn’t see a future with her. I had a feeling the moment of ‘I think you should move in with me’ convo would pop up and in my head I knew the answer the reasons were more than enough to leave the relationship.”