25/04/2017 12:20 BST

11 Questions We All Have About Topshop's Nearly-Naked Jeans

Life comes at you fast.

Now we’re not going to pretend we’re immune to being sucked in by questionable trends; we all remember when we said we’d never be seen dead out in gym leggings and now we spend our entire weekend parading around in lycra.

But every now and then an item of clothing comes along that even our fashion-filled brains can’t comprehend how it could be a good idea.

This season the award for surely-they-cannot-be-serious goes to high street heroes Topshop, who want us all to spend more than fifty English pounds to wear clear plastic trousers. Mate, we’ve got some cling film at home if you’re that desperate.


Here are 11 questions we have all about these ‘nearly-naked’ jeans.

1. Who pitched this monstrosity? 

2. How can they justify charging £55 for clear plastic? 

3. What is the legal definition for calling something ‘jeans’? 

4. What happens when we sweat?

5. Will we squeak when we walk? 

6. Do we need to use Vaseline to prevent chaffing? 

7. Why haven’t we been to the gym in six months? 

8. Are these office appropriate? 


9. Are there any knickers that would work in this situation?

10. Is climbing stairs even an option? 

11. When did we get so old and boring?