15 Things That Every Woman With Cystitis Can Totally Relate To

FFS, not again.

If you regularly suffer with cystitis you might feel like you’ve drawn the short life straw. But in reality you are part of the elite club of women who know the real reason anyone orders a vodka and cranberry in a bar.

According to the NHS, at any one time 10 to 20% of women in the UK are suffering with the dreaded UTI, so at least we aren’t alone.

These are the 15 things that you can only relate to once you’ve done a three-hour shift on your toilet.

1. Convincing yourself everything is fine as you feel the burn begin.

2. Running for an emergency wee to try and thwart the incoming agony.

3. Cancelling all your plans for the next day, because life.

4. Knowing there is only one thing that is going to solve this.

5. Going to the supermarket and emptying the shelves of cranberry-based products.

6. Spending five hours in the bath and turning into a prune.

7. Wondering if it is acceptable to sleep in the bathroom.

8. Pretending to your partner that they aren’t the cause of the absolute terror in your nether regions.

9. Becoming surgically attached to your hot water bottle.

10. Googling ‘Can you die from cystitis?’

11. Hating yourself for ever having taken your bladder for granted.

12. Cursing anyone who has ever said ‘What is a UTI?’

13. Having dreams of owning your own cranberry farm.

14. Swearing off sex forever.

15. Obviously having sex and knowing you will now pay the hideous consequences.