Ghosting is one of the most emotionally traumatising and cruel things that can happen in the dating world, especially if you had real, deep feelings for someone that obviously weren’t reciprocated.
Defined as ending a personal relationship with someone suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication, a huge 80% of us in the UK have experienced ghosting in our dating lifetimes.
Why does it happen? “Ghosting is inevitably part of the dating journey, and since sparks won’t fly with every match or date, it’s often the go-to method of ending things when you’ve only shared a conversation or a couple of dates,” says Eva Gallagher, the resident dating expert at the dating app, Plenty of Fish.
But what if we told you that being ghosted could actually be a good thing? Why? Because according to a study by Plenty of Fish, being ghosted could save you nine whole days of wasted time from being strung along by someone who has no intention of committing.
Avoiding wasted time
The research found that, while it can’t be condoned, being ghosted could have the silver lining of avoiding having our time wasted, especially for those of us who do want to find that special someone and settle down quickly.
A surprising amount of us in the UK are choosing to look on the bright side when it comes to being dumped silently and unceremoniously.
Over half of British singles (56%) are also choosing to reflect positively on the times they have been ghosted, with a third (33%) glad their time wasn’t wasted.
A further 44% never held out for an explanation from matches who ceased contact as they knew the relationship wasn’t leading anywhere anyway.
While ghosting is often berated as an unacceptable behaviour and can be discouraging, in reality, it’s all about how you perceive the experience, says behavioural psychologist, Emma Kenny.
“I advise singles to see the silver linings of being ghosted. Do you really want your flaws pointed out? Do you really need to know why they think you’re not worthy of a second date?
“See ghosting as an opportunity to re-evaluate your personal values, remind yourself of your self-worth and be grateful for not wasting time or emotionally investing in someone it wouldn’t have worked out with anyway,” she encourages.
Continuing with the theme of empowerment, according to the research, nearly half of Brits (47%) would raise a toast to their ghost, with ‘thank you for not wasting my time’ (27%), ‘thank you for helping me realise my self-worth’ (25%) and ‘thank you for the rejection which was my redirection’ (21%) the most popular phrases.
Here’s to reframing our hurdles as learning curves and opportunities for us to love ourselves more!