26/10/2016 09:06 BST | Updated 26/10/2017 06:12 BST

Five Ways To Stay More Present During Sex

Sex can be one of the most fulfilling, connecting experiences on the planet, great sex is a blissful experience for all involved.

We can all agree sex is quite an important factor in our lives right?

The problem is many are having sex but few are having sex that really creates a strong bond and connection, it turns more and more into the physical act of pleasure and we are living drained and unfulfilled from the experiences.

Don't get me wrong physical pleasure is a good thing, but often great sex is more than just the physical act.

I truly believe there is one thing that makes or breaks a great sexual experience, and that thing is presence.

Presence during sex is so powerful in creating a strong bond and connection between us.

To feel fully there with each other means our love can truly flow between us in that moment creating a fulfilling, connecting experience.

Here are five ways to be more present during sex:

1. Breathing.

Just like in meditation, our breath is a great focus point during sex, to really bring us in the moment and allow our bodies to relax our breathing is important.

Focus on deep breathing throughout to really relax into the moment.

2. Eye contact.

Eye contact is great for connecting in the present moment so create a gaze between you whenever you can, obviously some positions don't allow eye contact but make time for it in the ones that do to bring a powerful connection to the experience.

3. Feel.

Focus on feeling everything in that moment, I won't go into details here otherwise it will become quite a graphic article, but I'm sure you get the idea, tune into feeling everything that is going on with your body and your partners.

4. Empathy.

Create emphathy for your partner and stay present to what they are feeling in the moment, really try to feel their pleasure, discomfort, relaxation, tense state or whatever may it be in that moment and adjust or don't adjust accordingly.

Empathy for others keeps us in the moment.

5. Relax.

Relaxation is key to creating a blissful sexual experience, that means relaxing our mind and bodies.

We can't be fully present with each other if we are overthinking everything, drop all tense thoughts such as "am I good enough", "will I last long enough", "what if they don't like it", "what if I make a mistake"...etc...

Drop from your head to your heart, forget thinking and just relax into the moment with your lover, enjoy sex from the heart and you automatically become good enough.

So there you have it, five ways of being that create presence during sex creating a fulfilling experience for the both of you.

You may notice but all of these things are interconnected, when you truly relax into sex these things will all automatically happen, at first though we must become aware of how present we are being and that awareness is key.

Find more of my work and my relationship coaching services over at

For bonus content and inspirational writing follow my facebook page: