THE BLOG
07/10/2013 20:05 BST | Updated 07/12/2013 05:12 GMT

I Won 'Breaking Bad'

So I won at watching Breaking Bad. A lot of you are thinking it wasn't a competition, well turns out it was. Who watched Breaking Bad the best? It was me.

I watched the final episode at 9AM Monday morning on Netflix making me if not the first person in the UK to watch it than at least the 2nd or 3rd. Also a lot of people have been watching it since it aired in 2008. Spend five years watching a TV show? Yeah why don't I just take a mortgage out or murder a dog. What am I supposed to do in between series hit a tennis ball against a wall? Nah. Like a pro I just started watching it a couple of months ago borrowing box set's from people who bought it. I was up to date around August just after they pulled that half a season break thing (Sorry, I just used the American word season when talking about a TV show, please take me outside and smash me in the balls with a frying pan) Whilst all the amateurs were drip feeding themselves episodes for 8 weeks till the big final episode Saturday night I just signed up for a free month's trial on Netflix, hoovered up those last eight episodes and then cruised on home Monday morning to much back slapping, cheers and celebrations from everyone on the internet.

As well as my masterful watching of the series I made some pretty brilliant Facebook and Twitter comments like "So Tony Soprano was waiting for Walter White in that cafe at the end of The Sopranos, that explains everything" A tweet that no doubt delighted connoisseurs of the Box Set (the Box Set, like the Bloomsbury Set but instead of it being a group of like minded intellectuals it's everyone who owns a DVD player.) Another classic tweet of mine was "Spoiler Alert, that was the last in the series of Breaking Bad" Toying with those less devoted fans with day jobs whilst amusing the American audience who had watched it when it aired 10'o'clock EST. Like a wry hawk soaring above the humourless sheep I tweeted and facebooked. Admittedly I got no likes or RT's for any of my comments but who needs interaction on social networks when you've got the warm inner glow of satisfaction from knowing you owned watching Breaking Bad.

Of course I remember the original and best Box Set, Quantum Leap It was so good they couldn't fit it in a box so they had to air it on BBC2. The glory days when box sets were in English, now they don't know what language to write them in next. I reckon half the people who watch these shows don't even care about them they've just always wanted to say "Scandinavian crime thriller" at a dinner party. Personally I'm really into a Moldovan Box set I've just made up in my own head.

But what to do now it's all over baby blue, well it's obvious isn't it? Find a less well known American series and start saying it's much better than Breaking Bad. I for one am really into nineties show Cop Rock, Needless to say I'll win at watching that too.