28/12/2016 06:09 GMT | Updated 29/12/2017 05:12 GMT

Who Is Kati?

If you were to have a view of your entire life, every single element, even the littlest of details, what would you see?

Would you say that it all was: predestined? Random acts? Cause and effect?

I don't know the answer. I am an agnostic. I believe what I see, and I will not believe blindly in something that I cannot see or physically proven to me. I do believe that there is more to life than what meets the eye. I also believe that anything for evil that it may seem can be turned around and used for good if we set our minds to do so.

Who is Kati?

If you looked at Kati in her daily life you would say; "Kati is a contagious bundle of joy that makes no sense," "impossible to understand" Or "Queen of winter wonderland". But there is more to Kati than what meets the eye.

Kati is my wife. Kati is the young woman who suffered a stroke in 1995 and since that has been almost entirely paralyzed. Kati is a woman that has spent almost her entire adult life trapped inside her body. Kati is also the person that knows how to enjoy life at the moment to the fullest making the most of each and every day.

Kati is naïve to unnecessary worries. If she would be in a maze, she would never pay attention to the wall in front of her she only sees the halls and enjoys running through them not wasting her time worrying about what is next.

When confronted with the questions; "How did you get out of depression?" and "How do you manage to keep such a positive attitude despite your situation?" Kati's eyes open wide and start rolling around like looking for an answer. In the end, the answer is always the same; "I just did, I just do."

Everyone is looking for a reply or advice that would work like a miracle cure. You take it and all will be alright. As they linger in disappointment, they fail to see that they did get the answer they were looking for.

More than once she was asked; "why didn't she sue the hospital?", "you would have at least money right now."

I am glad she didn't. Years of battles in court would have kept the tragedy alive and then she would have become the victim. That is something Kati is not; "the victim." I have come to know many people that have had a stroke since I have been with Kati, and one of the things that most of them have in common (no matter their condition) is that their lives revolve around the stroke.

Not Kati though. She never talks about the stroke. Ask her if she is a stroke survivor or a stroke warrior and she would answer you; "neither." Kati may suffer from Locked-In Syndrome and be paralyzed.

However, her life does not circle this fact. Kati has an attitude of; "things are as they are, what's next."

The stories we commonly hear are the ones that overcame adversity and lived happily ever after afterward. But what if the misfortune is one that is impossible to overcome?

We are taught to, always have hope and faith until the bitter end. But what if even hope is gone? What then?

Well if we use Kati as an example we can see that even without hope you still can have faith, and you can still make your dreams come true and live an amazing life.

A dime a dozen are people that tell us; "how things are" Less are the ones that say; "how things could be" and even less are people like Kati that show us by example; "how things can be if we just set our minds to it."

Kati is one of those women that turned their personal tragedy into a unique story of success despite the circumstances.

There is a list of people that through the history of the human kind used a catastrophic event that could have ruined their lives as a stepping stone, people that made of their tragedy a blessing to others. I would say that Kati belongs on that list.

Kati and I are more than husband and wife. We are partners in crime. We share an idealism and since I have been writing with her and for her the last few years. I have learned to know her so well that I can answer questions that are asked to her better than she can.

Faced with calamity Kati always just says; "S*** happens" or "F*** it" (Those exact words). She turns the page and life goes on. That is how she got out of depression.

When an opportunity comes along she says; "let's do it" without thinking twice. That is how she keeps her positive attitude.

We always say; "never give up hope and keep the faith"

It is great when you can work at something and with blood sweat and tears achieve your goal. But if you cannot move at all, what if even hope is gone what then?

Well even when hope is gone, you can still keep the faith. That is what Kati is to me; "Faith." Faith before it is decorated with spiritualism or dressed up in religion. Not man made faith that is designed to fit a certain purpose. But faith in its purest form, the kind that existed even before the "Big Bang."

Henning van der Hoeven