Photo Credit- Dreamstime- Yanlev
...and they don't finish last!
Have you noticed the nice guy characters creeping into film lately, guys like Walter Mitty in The Secret life of... and David Grant in Nebraska. These gentle men folk have got me thinking.
What makes up a nice guy? Who are these men? Are they born or bred? Do we love them or do we ignore them? Why do we perpetuate the myth that they won't be the winner in life?
And why now, why has Hollywood brought them back now? Do we need to be reminded today that there are nice guys among us?
This is a good time to remember that simple kindness goes a long way. As our grander role models fall from their pedestals we need to find our champions in the everyday actions of considerate men and women.
The gestures of these people are often small, they just do the next indicated thing, no big heroics and it is the results which matter. Like Walter Mitty setting aside his dreams to get a job and take care of the family, it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. And did you notice that he did not think he was special until he climbed a mountain? How sad, because all along his actions were moving someone else's world.
I don't think that nice guys even make a conscious decision to do the nice thing, which is why they are so humble. There is no choice, it is all just, "what I do" sort of stuff.
For all their good deeds though, the nice guys of the world often get a bad rap from the rest of us. Nice guys don't appear to have big dreams or they are aware, unlike a lot of us, that they are exactly that, dreams. The nice guys don't seem to vibrate with passion. They have instead, acceptance and an ability to focus on what is directly before them. I used to think that nice guys were boring but today, if asked, I would counsel my daughter to marry a nice guy, please.
When I was younger I looked for that flame, that self obsessed drive to do and make and express oneself. The sort of fellow I craved had enormous dreams and could rant about a better future endlessly.
Don't get me wrong, some people like that do make amazing contributions to life and our world needs them in the mix. But now I am all grown up and I know that acceptance is the very best we can find in life. The dreams, they come and go, the drive it ebbs and flows, our need to find our truth is never ending, until we find acceptance. Acceptance is the all weather friend and the ability to be present for whatever is happening right now is a rare and wondrous gift which few of us get to enjoy.
The nice guys simply live each day doing what needs to be done, accepting what is before them to do. They are unaware that they are slowly, over time building something pretty amazing. Then one day they are old and they discover that they have nurtured a life resplendent with respect and love. The folks they have supported, the right deeds they have done, a thousand simple selfless gestures have blossomed and changed the world around them.
If you know a nice guy, call him up today, better yet, go visit him and thank him for who he is. The nice guys are the last ones to see their own value, are you surprised by that?
Tell me about the nice guys you have known, we need to spread the word.
Tweet me your nice guys stories @jakisc