I'm just going to come right out and say it: I think we're blowing this whole Jonathan Ross thing and his subsequent cost to the taxpayer out of the water.
Despite being fairly certain that the online report I read included an all-too-common typo, it turns out that we're all in uproar over the princely sum of £500. While it seems strange that a private party might induce such a fee in policing, why would we suddenly pour outrage on this particular case without first gaining some much-needed perspective, the day after we choose to vote to be part of an establishment costing us 0.5% of the GDP.
While visiting our country, stars from all over the world trash stages, hotel rooms and AirBnB apartments. Police were called when the 'celebrities' came out of The Jungle, investigators are looking into Celebrity Big Brother contestants' language. In fact, with just a few Google searches, it would appear the Metropolitan Police might have made an appearance at every celebrity bash from Chelsea to Essex. All costing over £500. Justin Bieber alone has been confronted by police on almost every UK visit. And, on top of all that, I don't feel the need to go into the specifics of due balances from the dozens of ongoing celebrity tax dodging scandals.
For the aforementioned princely sum, it would appear that, while patrolling the site of - what is about to become - a media circus, some police officers filed some forms in relation to traffic coordination. A - probably bitter and uninvited - neighbour became the source of the news after filing a Freedom of Information Act Request - a process that takes up to two months.
A Met Police spokesperson, rightly, said: "Local officers will continue to attend and interact at events of all kinds on their areas as part of their normal patrols.
Adding: "This is an integral way to foster support and trust in the police and to promote engagement and communication as we do for school fetes and the like."
Now I don't want to point the finger. But the "unnamed neighbour" really needs to come forward and explain what went on here. As things stand, an ambiguous non-itemised bill doesn't really explain much. The details of that bill may cause some outrage, but we need to distribute it accordingly.
For instance: much of the hatred I read is coming toward Ross himself, for having "directed" the Metropolitan Police to do something or other. But it's completely possible that officers spent hours taking photos with celebrities, forcing the cost-per-hour-per-cop to soar - but we will never know because ambiguity conquers all in news.
Due to the obviously catty nature of the FOI request, it's unlikely the neighbour will ever come forward for fear of... well, Ross Rage.
We're not completely blameless, here. Our media's bloodlust for these celebrity parties is at an all time high and we can look no further than our society's own news values in search of a direction for the finger of blame. So why are we getting massively upset? Mr Ross's continued work at the EIGHT charities he supports allows him a party for his friends - and let's remember, it's a private celebrity bash, who among them will want to act up in the spotlight? It's not the attendees the police were keeping in order, but those among us who insisted on gawping.