"Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement." Alice Koller
I would like to talk to you about creating space for yourself and how this is critical to your well-being. So often in life, we get lost in the day to day having to run from one thing to another and not having the space to think about why we are doing it, what we are doing it for and why it is important that we do it?
Solitude is good for you; it is good to connect with other people however it is important to connect with yourself. Solitude is not being lonely or it is being alone with yourself and your thoughts, it is creating the space to reconnect with how you are and whom you will become.
We are in a rapidly changing world, and our priorities change but sometimes we do not get space to think about 'it this still relevant to me?' We make decisions at the beginning of the year and then get lost in the doing and forget why we made the decision.
I take 5-6 weeks out in December and January most years to give myself space to think, plan and create. Although I am very productive, if I feel like doing nothing all day, guess what? I do nothing but look at the horizon or watch the waves or go for a long walk with not destination or time limitations. I allow myself that time to do nothing because my body is telling me I need this. I allow myself space and time to reconnect with what is important to me.
Solitude is Good for You
It is like food for the brain. Solitude allows you to make connections that you do not normally get time to make; this allows your brain to wonder to make the illogical creative connections. These are the deeply embedded connections that happen when you are relaxed, and your mind is allowed to wonder.
This morning I wake up and for five minutes I could not remember or work out what day it was, and I have only been off-plan for three days. This is great to lose a sense of time. I have no idea what is going on in the outside world, and it does not matter. I create a space where I am comfortable and relaxed and time has no consequence.
"Solitude is the soul's holiday, an opportunity to stop doing for others and to surprise and delight ourselves instead." Katrina Kenison
In our personal and business life, we do not put ourselves first, and this is not being selfish it is being selfless. Solitude allows you the space to connect with yourself; you forget to reconnect with yourselves because you are racing around doing and reacting.
Solitude gives you an understanding of what is important and why it is important to you and who is important. You must continue to do things not out of duty but out of passion and purpose; these are the good things that drive you forward. It is important to have the space to think how you think and why you think the way you do.
How Can You Create Space for Yourself?
Perhaps you can get up an hour earlier to meditate and think. I like the evenings when the house is peaceful and quiet this is my time to think.
Can you create a daily habit of thinking? Whether it is a little every day, or every weekend or a day every month or like me, create space at the end and beginning of the year. What systems can you implement to create a little window of space to allow your mind to wonder?
Why is Creating Space Essential?
Space allows you to reconnect with
- Who you are
- Why you are here
- What you are doing
- Why you are doing it
- When it is important for you to do what you do.
Solitude is Good for Your:
- The brain is like a computer - you can shut-down and reboot which allow it to replenish, restore and revitalise.
- Psychology - you can think clearly and focus when your mind is clear of unnecessary distractions, allow your mind to do what it does better.
- Mental health - you can think what makes you happy and discover what is sapping your happiness.
- Personal connection - you can discover how to be yourself and recommit to what it important to you and the relationships that matter to who you are.
- Problem-solving - you can tap your powerful unconscious mind to make connections not available when the conscious mind is active.
"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free." Arthur Schopenhauer
Solitude helps your mind to make those illogical creative connections. Solitude allows you to be who we are and will give you the space to create whom we want to become, and this is freedom.