I think most people would say I am a strong woman. Not physically of course, though I am prepared to have a go at most things, but emotionally. I think I would agree I am strong.
Strong to me doesn't mean I am emotionless, rather that I like to pick my moments. I don't do weepy films and I am not really very sentimental. Of course I have feelings that can be hurt and I am conscious, very conscious not to hurt others with words or actions, in fact 'Be Kind' is my number one value in both my personal and business life.
My definition of strong is that I can generally hold it together when many of those around me fail to do so. I can pick myself from failures quicker than most and, although I do of course worry about loads of things, my ability to plan and process options keeps me going.
Strength for me is also about stamina. I can keep going when those around me flag; I will just push on to complete whatever needs doing.
This isn't to say I can do this relentlessly, I do like most people my age need recovery time to rejuvenate, but I can do this quicker than most.
I am also, like many women, a master of multi-tasking and down times are rare. It seems to me that there is a box in many men's brains that allows them at times to simply do nothing at all. I do not have that box for two reasons, firstly I feel guilty quickly and secondly, well, there is always something to do!
Being strong sadly means I cannot tolerate weakness in others. This is a poor trait and inconsiderate at best but it's no good pretending otherwise. If I can be strong I just can't understand why you can't be the same.
Some men of course admire strong women and many men have said this to me over the years. Others can clearly not abide it and are intimidated so overcompensate by aggressive behaviour. My retort of humour does little to make them calmer though personally I find it very therapeutic.
There have been times when I would really like to be the so called 'weaker sex', to have someone make the decisions for me and to be the comforter when things aren't going according to plan. Sadly I have yet to find someone who has been able to break my crispy outer coating (perhaps I ought to try?).
What is less visible is my own vulnerability. I am extremely good at hiding it as, to me, this is a substantial weakness and one that is not for public display.
At times it is a fact that I can't avoid these weaker moments and I have developed coping tactics; nothing beats a long walk in the fresh air, a mindless TV show or a book to get lost in. All that matters for me is I come back stronger than ever.
The over used saying of "What doesn't break you makes you" fits my personality perfectly.