You Are Still You

When your baby takes their first stuttering, wavy armed steps across the room and your heart bursts with pride and love and life. You are still you. With a nappy in your teeth and "mustard seeds" under your nails, calling for the back up that's bathing your three year old. You are still you.

To all the Mums, Mummies, Mamas, Moms, Mothers, Mas, Mommies and Mommas,

You are still you.

At 3am, walking the hall with a baby who just will not go the **** to sleep. You are still you.

When your baby takes their first stuttering, wavy armed steps across the room and your heart bursts with pride and love and life. You are still you.

With a nappy in your teeth and "mustard seeds" under your nails, calling for the back up that's bathing your three year old. You are still you.

Heart breaking and choking back tears, watching the sharp needle pierce your baby's chubby, smooth thigh. You are still you.

Spiraling courgettes and blending vegetables to oblivion in the vain hope of hitting that magical 5 a day. Or is it 7? You are still you.

Muting your work call just a second too late when your toddler shouts "Mummy I did a wee wee AND a poo!" You are still you.

Agonising over whether to meet your friends for coffee because it's smack bang in the middle of nap time. You are still you.

Gripping the trolley and smiling beatifically through screams and wails and "I want"s in the supermarket. You are still you.

Feeling like you've won the lottery when really, you've just escaped to have a poo in peace. You are still you.

Wondering how everyone else does it while maintaining hygiene, laundry and adult conversation. You are still you.

Breastfeeding, formula, organic or white chocolate bribery buttons in the car. You are still you.

Smiling apologetically and trying to look zen when the whole plane is thinking your children have been raised by wolves. You are still you.

Explaining that Mummy has a big work meeting and watching cheeks crumple and eyes fill up. You are still you.

Researching parental controls and worrying about Internet safety at 4am. You are still you.

Turning down a night out because House of Cards is back on, you were up at 4am and frankly, the fun isn't worth the hangover. You are still you.

Being a bit hazy on current political issues because, let's be honest, Dr. Ranj just covers the junior doctor debate. You are still you.

Wondering how you'll cope with the first heartbreak, and mentally constructing a legal defence for your potentially violent retribution. You are still you.

Absentmindedly handing wet wipes to friends after a meal, because, well, who doesn't want a wet wipe? You are still you.

Beating yourself up about chastising them for asking "Why?" for the millionth time before breakfast. You are still you.

Sobbing in the car when they move up from the baby room at daycare. You are still you.

Flushing with pain and embarrassment when your friends joke about you "Being no fun anymore". You are still you.

Working from home, raising your children, full time, part time.....it's all hard. You are still you.

You are still you. You are enough, you are more. You have fundamentally changed. You are still you.

Happy Mothers Day, ladies. For every mother out there, whether your babies are grown, growing or they never got the chance. You are still you. And you are amazing.

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