THE BLOG
17/02/2015 09:57 GMT | Updated 15/04/2015 06:59 BST

How to Find Love

Hello I'm Karen Ruimy and I'm very happy because we are approaching Valentine's Day so I'm going to talk about partnerships, lovers and finding your other half in the world.

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I really love Valentine's Day! I know it's very commercial but I think it is so nice that everywhere in the city you have hearts and flowers and everyone talking about loving and gifting.

I really like that it's expanded into a loving day: it's about more than just finding a lover or being with your lover. What I like about this is that you look at the 'other' with love, be it your children, your parents or your friends and I think it's beautiful. It is always amazing to have that energy of love surrounding us and even if it's commercial, it's fine, it's still a loving feeling everywhere and that's fantastic!

So let's go back to this subject about finding your lover, finding 'the other half'. I'm going to be very strong about this: there is no other half in the world! You are a whole being!

You are not a half being, you are not a half part, you are a whole being and nothing of yours is going to be waiting for you outside of you.

You already have everything in you: you are embodying a soul. Your soul has come here to express, to create, to experiment, to love - but mainly your soul is a loving being. And the most important thing in terms of love, is loving yourself.

Loving yourself means taking care of yourself: paying attention to who you are exactly in this world; paying attention to what your life is about, asking: "What am I supposed to create here? What makes me very joyful, and makes me feel like I am really spending my time on important stuff?"

And what is the important stuff? It's your dreams, because your dreams make you joyful. When you start loving yourself, you will start finding who you truly are and you will see the wholeness of who you are. From that state of being you will feel wellbeing and you will feel that a lot of love energy will rush into you.

When you love yourself then you will be better able to love the other ones around you. So the main work on Valentine's Day is really to find your true self, to be able to love yourself even more.

This means to know who you are, to stay with yourself in quiet moments. Meditate, write, sing, dance, invent and reinvent yourself, write out your dreams, write about them, express them and really work on them. Don't loose time! Time is your essence: time is the gift that you have to express your life and your talents.

So the idea of 'the other half ' is just a myth. But does it mean you don't fall in love? Sure, you fall in love. But you fall in love in your life when you are able to love, when you are able to give and to exchange from a balanced state of heart, of mind, of being.

Basically you are a whole being and when you realise this you will attract people who are also in that same state of mind, who know they are a whole being and are not always trying to find themselves outside of themselves.

If you believe you need someone else to feel complete, that you need someone else to be loved, that sadly brings a very low vibration into your life where you feel weak if people don't love you. And when you feel weak about yourself you attract weakness, you don't attract joy and you can't express who you are in total freedom and strength. So in that weak state you attract people who also believe in that lower energy state and who are looking for love outside of themselves to feel whole, or who want to manipulate weaker people. Basically this is not fun, we don't want that!

The 'other half' is already within you.

So really it's your choice. Look inside yourself, realise that you are completely whole, that you don't need anything outside of yourself to become whole and know that you can love yourself.

You can rediscover who you are and find that you are a being of wholeness, of joy and of love.

And in that energy, in that state of mind and in that spirit, you will attract people who will match the same energy of freedom, joy and love. That's the best way to enjoy a relationship!

So I really, really wish that you can spend time with yourself and find that feeling of wholeness, perhaps when you are alone in your solitude, or in your reading, writing, or meditation, whether being in a city, or being in nature, you feel that wholeness is in you.

And in those moments as you feel that connectedness to the universe, to nature, to the essence of who you are, you will feel how much you can feel love. So feel love for the Earth and for all the people around you - and for yourself. And from this place of love and connection you will attract to you the perfect relationship.

Namaste.

Join me on my Life Labs video blog platform for more conversation and meditations on finding love:

https://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/1846-karen-ruimy/videos/680-finding-love

www.karenruimy.com