02/01/2014 12:32 GMT | Updated 04/03/2014 05:59 GMT

Divorce Day in the UK

Friday is D-Day; the day where most marriages hit the rocks and the process of salvaging the wreckage begins.

One of the most profitable times of year for solicitor firms specialising in divorce is also one of the most lucrative for a range of firms that make their money from separation.

I think sending a divorce card is a bit like running through a hospital ward naked when you have just had a hernia op - hugely inappropriate and embarrassing for everyone to see.

For some, divorce is the bravest of decisions. The silver splitters have risen by more than a third in a decade and I admire them.

They have life all mapped out; a man they have lived with for decades, grandchildren that visit them, a pension pot to share.

They choose to divorce not because they want to bang their husband on the head with a house brick. They just want a last chance at happiness in their older age. They know that by leaving they are putting their own happiness first.

This is a much more difficult decision when you are not forced to make it.

For others, divorce seems like an everyday decision. A newlywed in Kuwait is divorcing her husband over the way he eats his peas - with bread instead of a fork. She may have benefitted from a longer engagement. Or not serving peas.

I didn't have an option when my husband ran off with the secretary. I suspect he had his reasons. I can think of two obvious ones that she liked to show off more than was office appropriate.

At this point in the year you may hate your other half more than you hate HMRC. Get your act together and do something about it. Don't listen to your mum. She will call it a fuss and try to fix it with a cake.

Your solicitor is not the slightest bit interested in your tale of woe. He doesn't care that you had to get a taxi home from the maternity ward or that you friends knew all about the affair before you did.

He cares who owns what and whether you can prove it. Don't waste time at the solicitors crying. You will only embarrass yourself and pay for the pleasure.

Your girlfriends will tell you there are plenty more fish in the sea. This is code speak for a life time of on-line dating in darkened rooms wondering if the bloke in the picture might smell or is hiding children.

Once you are divorced, you need to bin that word from your vocab. It sits with spinster and itchy in the list of things you never want to be.

You are not a divorced mother of three. You are a single woman. Next Christmas, you can do what the heck you like and his mother can go to hell as well.