Has anyone seen Limitless with Bradley Cooper? You know the film where he goes from ming to sha-ting by taking a pill? Well he is uber gorgeous in it and that is why I missed the first 15 minutes of Celebrity Big Brother this evening. I was mesmerised by his piercing blue eyes, his rock hard abs and the fact that he plays a struggling writer.
Anyways, the fact that I missed the first 15 minutes doesn't really mean too much, as this series reminds me of my last relationship; full of excitement and false promise that it was actually going somewhere. But the snap, crackle and pop is slowly fading on the Big Brudda hoose, and not even the prospect of seeing Denise's sagging udders could save it from a slow and painful demise. I remember the days when Big Brother was splashed over the front pages of every tabloid, with the Sun having exclusives at every angle and gagging to interview the latest evictee. Now they are lucky to feature in the news in brief and receive a mention in anything that isn't a piss take of the show and its format.
Dry-lights of tonight's show included Kirk and Frankie's bromance reaching new heights, as they cuddled on the sofa and scurried across the bedroom in nothing but their underpants, Denise and Michael going at it like a married couple who need a good shag to clear the air, and the sight of Georgia with zero make up looking as beautiful as I do after applying ever Mac product ever made to my face.
Denise may be on the verge of a Vanessa Feltz style melt down, after crying while crawling through a load of treacle, but she was soon smiling again after getting to share a single bed with Ro-me-o. I'm not at all jealous of this, not one bit; I mean what is there to be jealous of? The green onesie? The close proximity as Romeo slowly spooned her late into the night? The way that onesie was slightly unzipped to show the right amount of man cleavage? Nope, not at all bothered by seeing that in high definition on my screen right before my very own bedtime.
While Romeo may enjoy Denise's company, I bet poor old Michael wishes he could cut both his ears off to save himself from her constant verbal assault upon his person. I doubt very much he will be appearing on Loose Women in the near future.
The twins and Georgia were discussing nominations; a brilliant decision by the Big Brother gods, and declared that Kirky boy would be next on their hit list. They were right about one thing, he does have a tendency to turn on girls if they annoy him or mainly reject him (so all the time then) and I hope he does Kirk-off when the shit hits the fan during nomination revelation time.
Oh and for those of you who were wondering, Gareth's Tub Tunes is released tomorrow. Including the classic floor smasher We Found Fame In A Hopeless Place.