There's always one episode in Big Brother that sees the housemates downing alcohol like students at fresher's week, and copping off with each other like Natasha Giggs at a speed dating event. But as this is the celebrity version of the show this just does not happen, or does it?
Before Natasha was booted out, she made a pact with Kirk that she would snog him if the pubic wasted their money and decided to keep her in. Nicola was asked to join in but proudly declared that she had a husband and couldn't do that; fast forward two hours and 20 wines later, only to find Little Miss Not So Squeaky Mclean getting her flirt on in the hot tub with serial shagger Frankie.
As the housemates played truth or dare; a staple game for any drunken affair, Frankie posed the question every girl wants to hear, "If you were single would you just shag the hell out of me right now?" While I and every other girl in the UK was busy wiping up vomit from their shoes, Nicola got up close and personal to the Cocozza (anyone else imagining he smells like a pissed soaked old man after a three day bender?) and did the old cock tease close lip technique before whispering 'yes.' Looks like Nicola may be joining Natasha in the Ex Footballers Wives club in the next couple of weeks.
These celebs should know from previous series that the hot tub always equals drama; anyone remember the Makosi and Anthony babygate drama? Did they? Didn't they? Well I'm pretty sure Frankie didn't give Nicola one, although with his wank only lasting three minutes and 17 seconds we could of blinked and missed it.
Ever since his X Factor debut, and admission to bedding 91 women, I have been wondering what it is about Cocozza that gets the girls going; it's obviously not his dating technique or Pilsbury Dough Boy physique. I would like to follow Frankie on a night out and see exactly what it is that leaves the girls going wild; three Sambucas and guaranteed a kiss n tell with the Sun perhaps?
One man who knows how to treat a lady is Mr Romeo Dunn; the type of guy you want to run bare foot along the beach with while pretending you are in a J Lo video. Not only can he treat women like, erm, women, but he knows when to swoop in and remove you from those drunken situations that teeter on becoming the car crash moment of the evening. Every girl needs a Romeo in her life, and one lady in particular might want some so solid romance from him rather than having Kirk dry hump her leg as he shouts' Do ya like me then ya doughnut?' I wonder if Romeo would utter 'Romeo DUNN' after giving her a good seeing too a la Gordon RamsAy...
Oh and for the record Denise, for dinner tonight I had chicken pasta salad with a side of arsenic; a repeat of Loose Women was just about to start at the time.