10/08/2015 05:29 BST | Updated 08/08/2016 06:59 BST

Success Through Connection - Or How to Find Magic in Your World

If you spend time watching or reading the news right now the world can look a little scary and quite angry. I don't take my world view from those distorted media sources because I choose to focus on the positive things that I see in people and in how we can find creative solutions to world problems. In my opinion immersion in negative news stories leads to the exact thing that is causing so many of the problems in the first place - disconnection and a lack of empathy and understanding.

That is how a lack of connection to others affects things on a macro level, but on a micro level I see it every day too. I work with many people who are suffering from a lack of true deep connection to life, to nature, to themselves and to their fellow humans. This causes all sorts of problems from relationship difficulties, underachievement, unhappiness, a sense of isolation, fear, anger, frustration, dissatisfaction, etc. To sum it up, I believe a lack of connection - either to yourself, to others, or both, leads to a restriction of success in life and wellbeing.

Yesterday I had the most fun in an hour that you can have (almost - my clothes were on!). I joined a tube party flash mob and encouraged unsuspecting travellers to dance and have fun on their underground journey across London. It was wonderful to watch the reactions. The super introverts were obviously worried they would be asked to do something that felt uncomfortable (they weren't - some danced, some sat and smiled) and many others were so happy to be able to join in the fun and experience a sense of joy and connection with others in celebrating a different experience from the norm. In doing something different and unexpected we increased connection with our fellow travellers and they found permission to step into something magical.

So I am really interested in what your life is like and how connected you feel. Here are some questions for you to consider:

  • When did you last start a conversation with someone you don't know?
  • When did you last meet another person's eyes on public transport, or as you were walking down the street?
  • When was the last time you spent a period of time looking deeply into someone's eyes?
  • How deeply do you listen to others in conversation without letting your own 'stuff' get in the way or trying to fix for others?
  • When did you last sit still and quiet with absolutely no distractions?
  • How intimate and vulnerable to you allow yourself to be?

How often do you really get 'seen' by others and how often do you let yourself be 'seen'?

Most people spend a lot of time constrained by their fears and limiting beliefs, by other people's expectations of themselves and by what they perceive to be societal norms. We create stories that look incredibly real to us but that in fact are created by ourselves, not 'true', and are often very restrictive. I suggest that the more you can connect in with yourself and with others, the more open you will be to connecting in with life. And if you are connected in with, and open to life's great experiences, incredible things can happen.

I see it every day. The people I work with create incredible change in their lives leading to more fulfilled relationships, greater business and financial success and a more wonderful, empowered sense of happiness than they previously have thought possible. And all this is created just by opening the box of connection and possibility.

Why not try deepening your sense of connection and see the difference it can make. And if you feel blocked or restricted in any way, seek out a coach who can help you to dive in deeper.

Because the world is a magical place when you connect into the wonder around you.

Kirsty Hanly is a leading Coach and Cognitive Hypnotherapist, working with individuals on changing their lives and changing the world.,