I read a post recently that riled me - it was all about pre-judging women of a certain age or situation who have not got any kids yet, or conversely, those who have 'too many'. It was great in that it made the reader remember you never know the full story - thus should not cast aspersions. But it completely ignored those of us who DO NOT WANT TO REPRODUCE. I was not alone in my anger. Other people had commented in a similar tone. So I was inspired to write down why I will not reproduce.
1) FUCK YOU SOCIETY
Women have spent the best part of the last 100 years holding up their middle finger to society and its 'norms' (what the fuck is 'normal' anyway?) so why is it that the decision not to spit out infants from your vag is still such a taboo? I don't want to conform, I don't want marriage, a house (not that I could bloody afford one), and 2.4 children - well maybe I could manage .4 of a child, but that's what mate's babies are for. Thanks for taking one for the team, friends with babies.
2) This big rock we live on
You know earth? Yeah it's the only place us humans can live, and we are fucking it up - royally. I am not going to get my preach on, but there are too frickin' many of us. We are a malignant maleficent morbid malady, who have infected the planet and everything else that lives on it. We don't need more of us. Until the existing humans and their spawn learn to live sustainably, there is no way I want to bring another innocent being into the world who didn't ask to come to a pollution filled, corruption laden, dying world.
Yup those heart wrenching adverts of kids starving and alone. They are real. They are not manufactured to make you buy shit like the other ads - they are a wakeup call. There are already so many little ones here and abroad that do not have a family, stability, and love. So if ever I did wake up one morning and think "damn - I am gonna get me some of that", I would be getting it from the existing pool of children. There are tens of thousands in the care system in this country, and even more than that alone in the wider world, because many women don't have the luxury of choice. We can help mitigate the horrible consequences by giving those consequences a home. Those sprogs deserve my love more than an egg and a sperm that have yet to meet.
Not the loan company - although the fact that many kids are being raised off the back of it is another sad truth of this. Money, moolah, dosh, dollar, cash, coinage. Our generation doesn't bloody have it thanks to the baby boom generation. Even when I wanted babies (and at one point I was desperate for the below mentioned unconditional love - not healthy), I said to myself that I would only have them when I owned a house (never gonna happen), when I had some savings (not multiple minuses), and when I could give them the financial support to get through uni and life that I didn't have. I think that's responsible. Money isn't everything, but whether you like it or not raising a child is at least an 18 year financial commitment our generation doesn't have the luxury of making!
5) Alone time - I like it
This may sound selfish but I think ignorance about the wider implications of one's decision to reproduce is selfish. I don't want another person attached to me for the foreseeable future no matter how much I love 'em. I also don't want the responsibility of making sure another independent thinking being turns out to be a force for good in the world, or evil, or worse - no force at all.
So people of the world. I respect your own personal choices and decisions, I really do, but PLEASE think about the wider implications of what you are doing. After all - the kids have to live on this planet longer than us.
The post referred to at the start of this article was written in the following style, and this is the missing paragraph I wanted added (and so got my keyboard warrior on and smashed it out in the comments section):
Somewhere there is a woman: 26, doesn't want children. People tell her "oh you will one day, your clock is ticking". She politely nods and gives the well-rehearsed line "I believe in never saying never, but I feel it is not for me".
When alone she cries. Cries for the state of the planet. Cries for the millions of innocent children who won't make it past their infant years due to hunger and disease. Cries for the tens of thousands of children in the care system across the world who will never know a loving stable home. Cries for those children living with parents who had them because they were pressured by societal norms. Cries for Mother Nature who is dying under a population crisis. Cries for the children whose parents chose to carry on having more, despite their means. Cries for the women who have children just so they have someone to love them unconditionally, because they didn't get that from their family as a child. Cries for those who cannot see the bigger picture. Cries for those who cannot choose.
I have chosen not to have children. My choices and my reasons are my own - I respect others; society please respect mine. If I do wake up one day and have that urge, I will choose to adopt and give an existing life a life they deserve.