29/10/2014 11:44 GMT | Updated 29/12/2014 05:59 GMT

A Halloween Tale

I want to recount to you the creepy thing that happened to me last year. Some of you will remember it from the time. Others of you will be new to this. Either way, since that time a lot of information has come to light. I hope it will be of interest to you...

Last October I suddenly developed a pair of ghost tits. Two bizarre spectral breasts appeared on my chest. At first glance they appeared to be 19th Century breasts, however other people were adamant they were Jacobean. It turns out none of us were right. The breasts in question turned out to have belonged to a girl from the Cap Zebib peninsula in what is now modern day Tunisia. But who was this girl and why was she in England? Well research has shown she was probably aged between 18 and 24 - young by our standards but established by her time. It is most likely she was brought over by the Romans during their occupation of England in AD 43 and as a result we can deduce she was most likely a house servant or slave of some description, brought over during the conquest.

The mystery though is why did the girl's breasts suddenly appear and why on my chest? Was she trying to speak to me? Or pass on some kind of message? Was she looking for some kind of resolution so she could finally rest in peace? We will never truly know. They disappeared as suddenly as they appeared. We will never truly know the identity of the girl whose ghost breasts appeared on my chest last year, but we can now know with certainty that she wasn't a viking or a French seamstress as other people have suggested.

Thank you for your time. I hope I've cleared up a lot of questions.


[Picture below, Cap Zebib peninsula where the girl, nick-named Francis, is believed to have come from circa AD53 and whose breasts appeared on my chest in spectral form in October, 2013 in Finchley]