I'm just going to say it.
I don't believe that nice guys finish last. At all. Whatsoever. In fact, male or female-being a genuinely nice and caring individual will take you much further, and much faster, than being the hottest person in the pub or on your online dating website.
Good looks or a sexy body might get you a second glance, an initial online dating message, or a swipe to the right for you Tindering folk, but it definitely doesn't guarantee much else. With so many superficial ways to get to "know" someone these days, more than ever singles are looking beyond sex appeal and good looks, in search of something real.
It all comes off.
Spanx, that push-up bra that really gives the girls quite a lift, mascara, bronzer-eventually, it all comes off. Digitally speaking, most people online enhance their photos with filters or photoshop, and they come off in their own way when you meet in person for the first time. It's all smoke and mirrors to a certain extent, really, and most single daters understand that. Good looks might get you in the door, but won't get you invited to stay a while. Your personality, intellect, morals, and manners, though? These can't be washed away, scrubbed off or erased with the flick of a mouse.
They are a more permanent and telling indication of what type of person you really are, and what being in a relationship with you would be like. It doesn't matter how pretty or handsome you are if it's clear that dating you would be a nightmarish experience. Life is hard enough, the majority of the population doesn't want to sign up to be in an unhappy relationship, just because the other person is "hot" by society's standards...it's simply not enough of a reason.
I know we'd all love to say that the person we are dating is our 100% idea of physical perfection, but let's keep it real, since we aren't all Victoria's Secret models or fit football players, now are we? The more you get to know someone, the more attractive they become to you, since you find yourself falling for their non-physical qualities. Sense of humor, how they support you through trials, do small things to show you they care, etc...Pretty soon, if given the choice, you'd choose the person you're dating over the model or the football player you previously would have rated as your physical ideal, since you are so enamored with them as a whole person-mind, spirit AND body...not just body! A recent study by Science Daily explains that sexual appeal actually thrives on intimacy, and one way to increase the intimacy in your relationship is to respond to each other with kindness, compassion and encouragement.
We're genetically engineered to value those who are "responsive" to us.
The same study revealed that men specifically, are the most attracted to women who exhibit the following characteristics: empathy, concern, understanding and support, above good looks. So, to sum it up? Be nice! Actually, men in the study rated women with these qualities as the most sexually appealing, which goes to show that being a kind, caring person is way more important to a guy than how low-cut your dress is. Women, as well, responded favorably to men who were encouraging and kind, which only backs up my belief that, despite what some may think, being a jerk to a woman does not turn her on...quite the opposite, actually!