Less than a week to go and the dilemma of 'what the hell am I going to wear' is getting increasingly urgent. The little voice in my head has turned into a holler - and as much as I know that, compared to our winners and the celebrities on the red carpet, it's of little importance to anybody else, I still need something I feel great in. And because the whole thing stresses me out, I bury my head in the sand - rather than in a gorgeous frock - and leave it to the very last minute, much to the annoyance of the Cosmo fashion team. Other dilemmas include hair, makeup and whether to tan or not... one year I felt I'd taken on shades of TOWIE, so I'll aim not to repeat that mistake.
Apart from boring everybody with my personal grooming plans (or panic over lack of them) there's the not-so-simple job of ensuring how we PR the event to potentially 912 million people (the number of people who saw coverage of our awards last year.) Where do we put the red carpet? Where do we put the photographers and press, and how many can we fit in? (Answer: 50). Then there are the 10 TV crews, including those from ITN, ITV, SKY, MTV and BBC London. Has anybody sorted out headsets so the people helping celebs from their cars can talk to the fixers inside? And how the hell do those things work? Quick, someone arrange a training session... Does everyone know about the after party? Have we sourced lovely stuff for over 500 goodie bags? (Answer: yes!) Who's going to pack them? (Several 'volunteers' look at their feet and try to avoid eye contact). What's the Twitter tag? (#thecosmos, if you're interested.) Do we have Wi-Fi? Who's responsible for putting up the coverage live online at Cosmopolitan.co.uk? How soon do we need copy and pics for the printed magazine?
That last question was the tumbleweed moment... followed by a slight scream from the Chief Sub, Michaela, who is in charge of such things. Half the magazine will have already gone to press by the time the event even gets underway. We've begged, borrowed and stolen time back from the printers to include the party pages, which means all copy has to be written on the night, and pictures chosen so layouts can be designed first thing the following morning, while I'm due to be visiting TV and radio stations with the winners.
It'll all be fine of course - although I have to trust everyone not to choose pictures of me that I dislike. Always a challenge, as I hate practically every photo of me ever taken.
So, just a week before it's all over and then I can forget about it, sort of, for another year...