THE BLOG
03/06/2015 07:59 BST | Updated 02/06/2016 06:59 BST

I'm Excited About Kim Kardashian's Pregnancy For All the Wrong Reasons

Actually, it would be quite a horrible thing if the Kardashian West family would limit themselves to four kids just because of abysmal name-picking skills. There was a suggestion, however, that a name such as 'Wild' should never be off the table, thus expanding the size of the dynasty even further.

Future generations will ask us, 'do you remember what you did when you find out that Kim Kardashian West got pregnant again?' Personally, I remember cracking a joke that it's a good thing that we have mere four cardinal directions (North, South, West, East) and thus Mrs West can only bless the world with four children.

But I've started thinking about this more thoroughly. I was dead wrong. Actually, it would be quite a horrible thing if the Kardashian West family would limit themselves to four kids just because of abysmal name-picking skills. There was a suggestion, however, that a name such as 'Wild' should never be off the table, thus expanding the size of the dynasty even further. Of course, given the talent is hereditary, I would kindly ask the family to also think about 'Wilde' as a possible name with the presumption that the child will have that distinct deepness of Kanye.

Usually, when I see a large family I think of various externalities caused by this irresponsibility such as the need to provide extra school places, hospital services, child benefits, and other services that will come from the pockets like mine. Bear in mind that large families, in general, tend to experience higher poverty levels, thus, unless you're a leftist luvvie, with a small exception of greens who surprisingly subscribe to the fact that it's easier to feed two rather than five mouths, there's no reasonable case for having a large family.

This is completely to the contrary when it comes to the Kardashian West family. Having only four kids would be plainly selfish, irresponsible and destructive, especially when the advantage of having a mob of well-dressed Kardashianites would lead to such huge economic gains that with the right balance we could see the economy basically run by the Kim&West Corp.

Take for instance lavish sums spent on the first baby girl, North West. It was reported, that at least £1.3 millions were spent on the child. Just a crib specifically designed for Ms West has cost around £130,000. But this doesn't take into account the effects of the 'Kardashian law' that makes people to spend money on the most useless, utility-wise, products. One just has to remember all the exclusive interviews and photo shoots that, I can assure you, didn't happen out of a deep sense of altruism running in the family. It's an incalculable guess, but you can bet that this brilliant celebrity enterprise has kept at least thousands of people in their jobs and will continue to do so as long as babies are born.

More importantly, think of the cultural power the family has. We know that North West has a clothing line and the way it dresses influence other parents. No more the phrase 'let's buy something cheap, comfortable, and tasteless for the baby' makes sense. In fact, as a result of the family, the retailers are seeing the increase in sales of clothes that resemble the first child's attire. This is brilliant, especially then thrifty parents have tended to overuse same clothes for the child because, well, nobody cared in pre-North West era.

And then it all comes down to Keeping Up with the Kardashians, a show about the family that attracts hordes of people tune in and watch it. Some do it for the laugh, some look at it to witness a (probably) withering civilisation due to cultural decadence. However, as Peter Hoskin noted, the show is 'is more entertaining than any number of Breaking Bads or Mad Men'. Naturally, to continue this dose of entertainment, a constant new influx of Kardashianites must be produced.

Being excited about a baby you won't ever genuinely care about or even meet could be hard. But whatever cardinal direction the baby takes, it will definitely be a money-generating one. For this mere reason, I'm extremely excited. Wealth-creation is good, even if the Kardashian West family does it.