20/01/2015 06:16 GMT | Updated 21/03/2015 05:59 GMT

Is Self Confidence Elusive for You?

Self confidence is all about how you feel towards yourself, about yourself and how confident you are in your life and the situations you encounter. High self-esteem contributes to your confidence levels and having high self-esteem means you truly love yourself and who you really are.

For example, I have high self-esteem because:

I know I am a truly good person.

I know I wish everyone well.

I know I am an authentic person.

I know there is no big gap between what I think and feel about something or someone and how I act.

I love all those qualities within myself. I very much like who am as a person. But it has taken a long time to get this place in my life. I have worked very hard on my self development and building my confidence for the past ten years or so.

Self confidence may change on a regular basis depending on the things that are happening in your life on a daily basis. The change could even be linked to not enough sleep or having a very stressful few days or even hours. Everyone has good days and bad days but if most of your days tend to be bad and you feel stuck where you are and not willing to try new things, you probably have low self confidence and, my guess is, you most likely know it. I suffered from low self confidence for years and I certainly knew it.

The good news is that you can re-build your self confidence, but it will take time. With some work and a serious commitment there are techniques that you can use to build your own self confidence.

First you must commit to remaining positive. A positive attitude is crucial to the success of building your self confidence. Do your best to stop listening to anything negative that you or anyone else says. That includes the voices you have floating around in your head, they can be the most damaging or most beneficial. Good self messages sound positive. Low self esteem inner messages are negative, critical and have lots of shoulds in them. I have learned not to allow 'shoulds' in my life.

Here are 4 steps to help you build your confidence.

1. Don't allow yourself to compare yourself to other people. It is a fruitless exercise. You are your own unique person with your own purpose for being here and it doesn't matter what others do, say or accomplish. It has nothing to do with you.

2. Do associate with positive people wherever you can.

3. Spend as much of your time doing work and activities that you truly love.

4. Do not go over your past mistakes in your head. It serves no purpose. Forgive yourself and move on.

Start small and celebrate all of your successes. As time goes on your small successes will become larger successes and you will be on the road to much higher self confidence and many more opportunities to be happy.

If you need help, get professional help from a qualified Life Coach.