So you are in love, that is great news, good for you! You may have spent years dreaming up this new guy in your life and finally it has all come true and now life is just wonderful. However, you may have noticed some other changes developing in the background like none of your friends share your enthusiasm or you are starting to do things that you normally wouldn't. Here are my top 10 tips on how to hold your own, stay in love and not be that annoying new girlfriend.
1. Don't forget your friends!
You probably want to spend all of your time with your new found love but forgetting your friends and not hanging out with them is a big mistake. Avoid isolating yourself by continuing to meet your friends regularly.
Tip: Do meet your friends at least twice a month.
2. Don't cancel your life!
Keep your independence and avoid being clingy by continuing with your own hobbies and interests. Frequently cancelling your personal engagements to be with your man will lead to a very boring life a few months down the line.
Tip: Do stick to your personal engagements, and only cancel once a month to make room for a date.
3. Don't forget your identity!
He is a vegetarian, great - does that mean you have to be one - no! He is into you for the woman you were when you met! It is okay to adopt some elements of your partner's life, but you don't need to become his female double, opposites do attract!
Tip: Do think about if you broke up tomorrow would you still be adopting his habits, interests and lifestyle? If not, then that is because these are not a part of who you are.
4. Don't be self-absorbed!
People close to you will be interested in how things are in your relationship, but bombarding them with couple selfie's and updates every hour is too much, who has the time really?
Tip: Do remember friendship is a 2 way street. Engage with what is going on in your wider social and family circle. Check in on your friend and ask him/her about their life too!
5. Don't distort facts!
When he wants to chill out with his mates on a Friday night that doesn't mean he isn't into you anymore - stop filling in the gaps with wild scenarios.
Tip: Do engage your mind with your interests and avoid spending too much time in 'idle' mode. Be realistic, have you honestly got something to worry about?
6. Don't make food your enemy!
Most people in relationships either over eat due to more dates, extra treats and 'just because' or eat less to 'stay pretty'. Don't make food the third wheel in your relationship.
Tip: Do look after yourself like you did when you were single.
7. Don't spy on him!
Linked to point 5 - curb the demons in your head that encourage you to go off into detective mode and rummage through his social media profile. This kills trust in a relationship and you will not get a good night's sleep.
Tip: Do focus on yourself, what would you be doing differently right now if you were not his girlfriend?
8. Don't worship a fake character!
So he is good looking, amazing body, charming, sweet, smart etc But this isn't a Disney movie - wake up to his bad points too, everyone has them, even the man of your dreams.
Tip: Do create a healthy and balanced view of your man, what are you putting up with when you are with him? What could be improved?
9. Don't forget your dreams!
After a few years or even months in a relationship most people carve out a cosy comfort zone that's not going anywhere particularly fast. What are your personal dreams and aspirations, outside of getting your dream guy?
Tip: Do think about where your life will be in 20 years time, with or without him. Many people regret the things they didn't do and pass the blame onto others. Take action now and think about what dream you might be giving up if you continue the way you are in your relationship right now.
10. Don't make friends with jealousy.
Your friends probably aren't jealous of your relationship, that other girl probably isn't interested in your man! Just because you love him to bits doesn't mean the rest of the world feels the same.
Tip: Do take a different perspective when jealousy strikes - be the fly on the wall in the scenario, are you over reacting?
Read Malminder's new book Unleash Your Inner Goddess And Stop Worrying
Follow Malminder on Facebook