THE BLOG
27/09/2013 09:27 BST | Updated 27/11/2013 05:12 GMT

The Initial Sensations of Graduation

Freshers' week fever is sweeping the country and it's a tough time for the recently-ejected graduate. Friends publish Facebook statuses like 'eeee','woooo' and 'ahhhhyayyy' because the world is too delightful for actual words, as well as photos of them high on the ageist drug of student life. After three years of university us graduates feel akin to Ross after his three divorces; we wouldn't say no to another. But instead, a life of tax registration, conversations about B-roads and sitcom sustenance has ensued. Ok, it's not that bad. Graduate life is a pretty exciting time, but it can be daunting. There are many sensations which come with graduation. Here are a token few;

- Despite not wanting to go near a footnote or academic essay again, your decision not to apply for a Masters is entirely beyond you. You idiot.

- Where is everyone? London. Can I go? Don't be silly, you're not employed.

- You realise you're ok with the above because the last time you visited the capital, you forgot humans were capable of emotion on the tube between Baker Street and Regents Park.

- Everyone is becoming a teacher about ten years earlier than you'd anticipated considering them a grown up.

- Everyone else is getting betrothed.

- You think travelling will fix everything. But with your current budget, a hot air balloon around Malaysia quickly becomes a Megabus to Torquay.

- The above gives you chance to work out that England is pretty awesome. Cornwall, Dartmoor, Northumberland, Scotland - all well worth a trip and no need to deal with Ryanair!

- Younger siblings go to university to remind you that they're a younger, happier version of you.

- You wish that when people do, inevitably, publish their 'FRESHERZ!' photo album on social media, they'd at least have the courtesy not to edit it with 'look my life is even more idyllic than the camera initially thought' Instagram.

- You're weirdly grateful that the rat race hasn't snatched you up (sounds better than rejected) because it means you still have free time to do what you want.

- Getting away with using your old student card is like finding the snitch when life is trying to batter you with bludgers.

- You can finally apply for the job you dreamt about at uni; you might get rejected but who cares, it's a start.

- Your handwriting deteriorates so that when you add something to the shopping list you feel totally incompetent that your 'baked beans' makes it look like you never went to school, never mind university.

- Your auntie texts you 'poor love' when you excitedly tell her about your new job you thought was good.

- That doesn't matter, because you get to do the paycheck dance at the end of the month.

- You learn a lot of new stuff about the world. One thing you learn is that you're lucky to have been to university at all, not everyone who wants to does.

- You talk to your dog. Something you wished you could do more when away from him at university, but consider a bad sign now you're at home.

- You reminisce far too much for a 21 year old.

- You watch New Tricks and think you want to be a detective but after Suits you want to be a lawyer, then realise you have no idea and are the most impressionable clueless person on the planet.

- Despite all the worries and moaning, it's exciting not knowing what's going to happen. You're a free agent.

- You're a local, rather than a student. But you still don't fit in with the locals.

- Inspiring quotes become addictive rather than hilarious.

- Weekends become weekends again but you can't celebrate because you have no idea what songs are in the charts at the moment.

- Going to a self-defence class with your mum and pretending to stab each other with a knife is probably healthy for your home relationship.

- With little to no commitment and responsibility, this could all turn out great. Better still, your friends are in the same boat and you can rant together. Let the dreams commence! Even if they aren't 4 contact hours a week with Friday off.