09/03/2016 09:57 GMT | Updated 09/03/2017 05:12 GMT

Theatre and Comedy Tour!

3909 words. That's how many words I have written and how many words I have to learn for my theatre and comedy tour launching this month. No pressure then!

Last night I was tested on my lines for the first time by friends. I felt like I had been learning a new language for a week and all the words I was saying were spewing out of my mouth so unnaturally.

For me, learning and knowing the words isn't enough, I want to know them so well I'm not even thinking about them anymore. The last thing I want is to sound like a robot while I'm doing these tours for people. I want all the information, facts, jokes and interactions to come out as though I just happened to know it all and it flows out of my face quite naturally! A bit like stand-up comedy I guess!

From the day I moved to London, January 2008, I genuinely have no idea how many temp jobs I have done. If I were to guess, I would say 300, easily. There isn't an area of London I haven't worked in! And now, the idea of stepping out of the day time "office job environment " into my own business that I will actually have interest in, fills me with 30% excitement, 5%fear and 65% relief. Or is that 5% relief 65% fear.. I'm not sure. Considering I've been fired from so many office jobs and have been out of work so many times, I shouldn't really be feeling fear at all.

I have taken March off from Stand-up Comedy. I have my little note pad filled with ideas ready to try out at a later date, but this month is all about the business. Tweets, messages, flyers, features, business cards, you name it; I have been getting the word out so I can start my first day with actual real people there, not made up ones in my head.

I love the idea of waking up; knowing I can wear what I want, have a bag that's not black! Wear red lipstick! (Yes, a woman once complained I wore red lipstick.. its almost funny isn't it ) I will be my own boss doing something I actually enjoy. Talking, meeting people and in a way, entertaining! The only down side to owning my own "one woman business" is I will be pretty lonely at my own staff Christmas party. I'll be expensing my own expenses. Very obscure.

Even though there are plenty of tours in London to go on, I do consider my tour a bit special because it's extremely personable, a bit quirky and I don't know anyone who wears red lipstick whist giving a fun and interesting tour, do you?

If you want to come along and do my theatre and comedy tour, it launches March 28th, 11.30am first tour, 5:00pm second tour. And every day after that. Look out for Michael Jacksons white glove! Intriguing!

Now I must go, I have lines to learn. Lots and lots of lines.