03/07/2013 08:00 BST | Updated 01/09/2013 06:12 BST

The Problem With Being 'Single'


A week or so ago I read this article and I was very very pissed off. Probably quite irrationally and most definitely more than the situation warranted. And I know this is one that is commented on a lot but it really touched a nerve with me.

Because here's the thing, is being 'single' so awful that we need to be reminded that 'it can be awesome'?! I don't know if I'm being odd or if I just don't understand. But why is being 'single' an issue?

Firstly, lets look at the word, the Oxford Dictionaries define it as:


1 [attributive] only one; not one of several

What's wrong with this? I see absolutely nothing wrong with being 'only one'. Or 'not one of several'. I actually like that I can't be defined by the group I roll with. That for all intents and purposes that I am my own person.

However, for some reason, society has deemed it unacceptable for a woman to be single. The meaning has morphed into 'abnormal' 'unlikable' 'undatable' and so on. In fact being single is so awful that countless films have been made to portray just how debilitating this way of life is (Bridget Jones, 26 Dresses, What's Your Number?, the list goes on). Because apparently women are unable to live alone, as entities unto themselves, we must exist in tandem with someone else (male or female). The concept of single and its (negative) (over)use in varying contexts would suggest that we must be part of a whole to FUNCTION AS REAL PEOPLE.

Why?! Perhaps this has something to do with pop psychology that says that humans desire togetherness and cannot function without human contact. To a certain extent I agree - but to the point where being alone and HAPPY is seen as odd? I don't accept that. TV programs further push the point that if a woman is not out looking for a man, something must be wrong with her - seriously. Or she's 'focusing on her career' which means she's 'one of those' What does that even mean?!

From the age of 16-26 I have never been in a relationship. My friends would say that I was single and on days when I bowed to peer pressure I would think; 'Why don't guys like me?' 'Why can't I get a boyfriend?' (Guess what? Probably because you can't go pick a guy up like a good lookin' bag) But I know for a fact that it was not a word that I used to refer to myself, not ever. Why would I? Was I alone? Yes. Was I lonely? Sure, sometimes, but that was probably more to do with the fact I spent a good portion of time living with people I neither liked or didn't speak English. Not because I was pining for someone to make me 'whole'. Did I fool around? Sure! But was it with intent to find someone, so I wouldn't be single? Most assuredly not.

So to round off this rant. I am sick and tired of being told to be happy while I'm single and to enjoy it but only while it lasts. That's what being single is all about - looking for a man. Don't lose sight of the goal girls!