27/08/2014 08:00 BST | Updated 26/10/2014 05:59 GMT

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During these past summer months, I have been investigating the condition known quite thoroughly as humanity. This investigation has included expeditions around the isles of the United Kingdom and the continent of Asia, by way of Hong Kong, Taiwan and Vietnam. It has also required a large amount of research and effort within the confines of a certain supermarket interior. In such uncertain times of war and terror, where is our species heading?

Thesis: Humanity is nice.

Civilisation has been one of humanity's greatest assets and we have been perfecting it for centuries. With modern laws and medicines we are able to walk together as an equal and generous species. Through small simple acts of kindness such as a smile, people will naturally further that kindness to others. I have observed on several occasions people buying gifts for one another for no other reason than as an act of friendship and kindness. Surely we must be an inherently good species?

To further this, my fieldwork in Asia has revealed that many people are willing to help you without consideration of personal gain. This ranges from simply pointing one in the right direction after looking a tad befuddled in Taiwan to a general feeling of security and safety in Vietnam. Even though I kept my guard up throughout my field expeditions, I felt safer in Vietnam that I do at home. To give without personal gain, regardless of wealth or power and to provide safety whatever time of day must surely be proof of humanity's inherent good?

Anti-Thesis: Humanity is not nice.

No, indeed not. Observing humanity at its daily best is something I would not recommend for prolonged amounts of time, for there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Especially when the location of such depression is the self-scan tills (those wonderful machines of humanity that never cease to remind one of a bagging error) within a supermarket interior. It is here, that humanity reveals those baser emotions once developed during the age of the caveman: anger, aggression, annoyance and general rudeness. The tills are rather sensitive albeit stupid and clumsy machines. They could probably be brought down by a simple computer hack, as they run on a now outdated and unsupported (since April 2014) operating system. This clumsiness though, does not excuse humanity for the speed at which it moves from annoyance to anger and aggression. The sighs that are expelled amounts to something biblical. Indeed, through the fog of sighs comes the poor underpaid worker, who, having to maintain eight of these tills at one time cannot be in eight places at once and is often degraded by being clicked at, whistled and hollered at by the impatient members of the public. Shame to those of you for not yielding a greater degree of patience. It should be observed that I even heard a 'I was first' come from a customer when two were waiting on attendance. Like children, humanity regresses against things it does not understand. We are still cavemen, fighting for survival against the unexpected items in the bagging area. Please remove this item from the bagging area. Call for assistance? Help is on the way....


I have hereby discussed both the generosity and plight of humanity, and despite its promise of inherent good, it certainly seems humanity is still an immature and feeble race. We are but 200,000 years old and lack the wisdom and maturity of our years. Foiled by the stupidity of a man-made machine.

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