17/03/2015 07:53 GMT | Updated 17/05/2015 06:12 BST

Tales From the Middle of Nowhere: The Good, the Bad and the Bubbly Pt 5

That Italian TV show was a fucking struggle. The miming I don't mind, it's the interview. You have an actual person in front of you asking questions in Italian and a phantom in your ear translating them into English. It can be, and usually is, very awkward.

Here is but one example of what I mean... and bear in mind I'd been kissing the sky with Nancy until 5am the previous.

"Noel... you say that you don't take yourself seriously and that you live only for the moment. I also hear you say you refuse to overthink anything that you do in as much as you let the people decide what is and what is not... but what we would like to know is how do you come to such enlightenment at such an age?"


"I'm sorry but you have to give me an answer.."

".......Erm...I don't know?"

(Huge round of applause).

I started to do a little sweat.

After about six months we left the TV studio and were taken out to some swanky restaurant, which was indeed a night club, which was indeed the preferred hang out for yer Milanese footballer.

All the women (and there was a LOT of women) looked like Mick Jagger when Mick Jagger looked like an Italian woman (1965-1969!). Nice enough gaff... Nancy would have loved it.

Flew to Berlin the next day. Met some nice German fans on the plane. They'd been to the gig in Milan see? Very polite. Lovely kids.

I'm sat on the plane waiting for lift off and who should amble on last but my old drug buddy Evan Dando!!!! What the fuck??? I hadn't seen him in years. Fucking love that guy.

Had a bit of a kick about waiting for my band to rehearse with the latest brass section. I hadn't had a kick about for a long time... years. I think it's fair to say the old touch hasn't deserted me... You never lose it see?

The gig was wünderbar!! Excellent! In fact there was a minor fracas down the front at one point and the security team vaulted the barrier and got in amongst the crowd to fucking sort some shit out.

There was a bit of pushing and shoving and the security team reappeared with a girl in a headlock!!!! She was kicking and screaming like a fucking wild cat!!! I saw her later outside and asked her what she'd been thrown out for and she replied... "Just crying"... and all this took place during The Dying Of The Light!! Germans eh? You gotta love 'em!

Just had my first overnight on the bus to Copenhagen.

Horrible...I hate the is a cunt.

Keep it livid.



PS: Today I have been mostly listening to That's The Way by The Kit Kats..get on it!