03/11/2011 09:32 GMT | Updated 03/01/2012 05:12 GMT

Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere (Vol.2) - Where I'm No.1 in the Grazia Chart of Lust

Yes comrades.

Been a few days, eh? Lots to tell.

Where to start? So I think the last time we spoke I was on the way to Edinburgh. Might've already been in Edinburgh? Can't remember. Anyway, the gig was great. The kids sang their little heads off. It was reported that there may have been a bit of violence and maybe a little bit of theft. Can you crazy kids not behave yourself?

There was also a story in one of the local newspapers that I'd had some hairdresser-turned-journalist BANNED from the gig for apparently shitting on my album? A ludicrous claim. As you might guess, I'm not an avid reader of the local Edinburgh News. Sounds like someone trying to make a name for himself, if you ask me.

Spent the rest of the night in some hotel bar being told stuff about myself by drunken locals.

Onto London for three shows on three consecutive nights at three different venues. The first being the Hammersmith Apollo. I liked it. It was easy. Maybe a little too easy. I have to say I thought it'd take a lot longer to get everything up to speed. It's already become very enjoyable and we've only done 6 gigs.

That was Saturday, right? So Sunday was at the Forum? I haven't played at the Forum since Oasis played there in '94. One forgets what a blimmin' great venue it is. Great gig. Like the old days. Great crowd. If you was there - nice one!! Best out of the three for me.

That brings us to The Roundhouse on Monday? Don't like that venue. Lord knows why anyone would play there. I've been to plenty of gigs there - can't recall ever seeing a good one yet. Dunno what it is. Maybe 'cause it's round and not an actual house? Dunno...

We did party hard after though, so all was not lost. Took over a small but perfectly formed nightclub in the West End. My cosmic soul brother Gaz Cobain from the Amorphous Androgynous was in control of the cosmic juke box and apart from some mithering from Irie Nancy and the golden girls for some "Beyonce" fun was had by all. We was asked to leave at the crack of dawn with a £7k bar bill!!!!!

A proper good effort that. Needless to say the last two days have been spent on the verge of a nervous breakdown. All good though and it was well worth it.

Did have some great news yesterday though. Grazia magazine have me at the top of this weeks 'Chart of Lust'!!!!!! That's right, LUST!!!! Eat that Coldplay. You can have the top spot in the charts. That don't mean shit...


Off to the BBC today. Doing a gig that will be broadcast live tonight on Radio 2. 8pm, I think - although I may have got that wrong. Iz'rite.



Noel's tour diary is published in full at

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