Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere (Vol.2): - Where I'm No.1 in the Grazia Chart of Lust... Still!

08/11/2011 17:37 GMT | Updated 08/01/2012 10:12 GMT

Yes comrades.

Y'know, life can be a wonderful thing. Full of ups and downs. Twists and turns. Ins and outs and roundabouts. For long periods life can be mundane (not mine... mine's fuckin' mental!!!).

And the further you get along the road of life, the more you've experienced, the less there is to experience... or so I thought...

I have been woken with the news that for the second week running I sit proudly at the top of GRAZIA magazine's column of lust!!! Number fuckin' one, baby!!!

Seriously Coldplay, you might be selling records by the skip-load and think that you're operating in some kind of musical CD-selling "Para, para, paradise", but the girls back home have spoken, and they're speaking the language of lust.

My blimmin' albums don't even stay at #1 for two weeks!!!

My missus is so proud, as will my mam be.

I dunno... free driving lessons? GRAZIA magazine? Where will it end?

Loose Women? Strictly Come Dancing, probably. The sky's the limit!!!

In other news, the gig last night at the legendary Massey Hall was great. Most enjoyable. Even had a good laugh with the audience. Looking forward to tonight.

It's raining, by the way.

In a bit.