1) It is quite clear to me that there is only one way of saying 'Fashion Week.' You place your lips in a Kiera Knightley-esque pout (think 'Love Actually') and then drawl the words without your lips ever touching; sounding something along the lines of 'phaaaaschion weeeh.'
2) It is also clear that natural hair colour is in no way cool any more. One's hair HAS to be grey, or ideally blue-grey, to pass muster with the digital-camera-wielding bloggers stalking Somerset House's courtyard. Ideally your hair is also braided, or even better braided with rings IN the braids; but NATURAL HAIR is in no way phaaaaschion weeeeh.
3) Don't wear any clothes that match EVER at fashion week. Street cool aims for a look akin to that petulant six year old on the tube whose exhausted mother allowed her to wear her Disney 'Frozen' dress over her dungarees because she wouldn't stop screaming.
4) Reality television stars are now very fashion. No longer are fashion PRs snooty about unscripted reality shows. Reality stars are now bloggers and bloggers are fashion and therefore 'Made In Chelsea' is very fashion week.
5) Lapdogs are very fashion. Particularly if you have a puppy you MUST bring him to fashion week. Lenny the pug has even had his own London Fashion Week diary in the 'Stylist' so...
6) Having an iPhone is also extremely fashionable. If you are FROW (front row-ing) it is imperative to video all the fashion despite the endless photographers at the end of the runway with highly superior cameras.
7) Catwalk walking is no longer recognisable as walking. Your upper arms must hang down behind your back whilst your hip bones protrude forward. All round very fashion.
In the same way that I'm not religious but I find myself crying in churches due to the mind-boggling dedication of it all, joking aside I am genuinely always a little bit blown away by fashion week. There is something just a bit glamorous about the LFW black Mercedes rocking up to previously unused gallery spaces, dropping off harassed models with back-combed hair dodging the hordes of fashionable women ice-picking their way to the show on towering heels. There is also the fact that the shows seem, and I know this is sacrilegious because I'm an actor, to have a lot of the good bits of theatre without the length. You get the sets, for example Alice Temperley's beautiful black pirate sails, the theatrical lighting as could be seen in Julien Macdonald's opening search lights and the drama as the achingly cool crowd shuffle into their designated seating...and it's all wrapped up in fifteen minutes!
Here are a couple of my videos of some shows I was lucky enough to FROW. Long live 'phaaashion weeh'
Julien Macdonald: https://instagram.com/p/BCAr0UsQ8bQ/
Alice Temperley: https://instagram.com/p/BCOp4cew8Yu/