You've had a baby and the bit of your body you're worried most about getting back into shape is your tummy? REALLY?! Ladies, reality check please. There is only one part of your body that needs your undivided attention post birth and it is sat in the discarded pile screaming at you in pain to pay it some "God damn attention!" Forget fitting into your skinny jeans. Forget work outs and miracle creams for you post baby bulges. What you really need to be concentrating on getting back into shape is your poor, bedraggled and incredibly misshapen vagina!
Why oh why are we concerning ourselves with these other parts of our anatomy? Yes, your tummy may have stretched to make room for your baby but that's nothing compared to the stretching and tearing your poor unsuspecting vagina had to do to get it here safely! Your heavy and lumpy thighs may have carried you and bump around for nine months but it is your vagina that carried you through child birth and out the other side of labour hell. We all know it feels great to look good in a figure hugging dress but doesn't it feel better not wetting yourself every time you sneeze or laugh too heartily and isn't it more comforting to know you are able to sit down pain and rubber ring free?
It may spend most of its days (apart from the private un-panted bliss of ice packs and salt baths) well and truly covered up and out of sight, however, when it comes to your post baby vagina, this is one area of life where "Out of sight, out of mind" should not come into play. If our anatomy were different and we actually gave birth through our ear canal, carrying these birthing war wounds around on our face would mean that we addressed them quick smart, doing everything humanly possible to soothe and erase the scars and get it back to looking as good as new and as quickly as possible.
So why is it that our post baby vaginas are getting such a raw deal in both senses of the word and not receiving the respect and aftercare they deserve?
In our body image obsessed world, everything we read is geared towards helping us get our thighs, ass and tummy back into pre baby shape. Diets are tailored to banishing cellulite, bags and knackered mum syndrome and miracle creams are celebrated as being able to magic away the dreaded stretch marks, thread veins and post pregnancy blemishes. But what about the bits that need us the most? Our post baby vaginas don't get a look in despite being the one thing most out of shape and most in need of refurbishment.
I am therefore, taking on the vagina voice piece and launching the Vagina Appreciation campaign in conjunction with The Baby Bible and our No Bullshit Mum Revolution. It is about time us ladies stood up for our vaginas and gave our post baby bits some much needed appreciation and some long overdue VLC (Vagina Loving Care). No longer will our poor and swollen vaginas be banished beneath over- sized sanitary pads and a-top rubber rings in the hope they will sort themselves out and be back as shiny and as new as before if we just slap on an ice pack and try to pretend the massacre didn't happen.
We need to instead attack the vagina rehab with the same vigour as banishing our baby lumps. Tummy crunches to beat the baby bulge currently sitting proud on our exercise priority list need to be replaced with pelvic floor routines and perineum creams. Most importantly the rehab of our bits is to become a subject no longer taboo but instead one that is spoken about amongst women and the media alike. We need to ensure our bits share the post baby spotlight alongside muffin tops, cellulite and stretch marks and we need to start sharing tips and work out plans to help us devise the best "all" body post baby workout.
At the end of the day if we are ever to expect them to again provide us with enjoyable, pain-free sex and the ability to pro create we need to start showing our vaginas some respect.
Over the next month I will be releasing a series of articles raising the lid on post baby vaginas and raising awareness of the Vagina Appreciation Campaign. Come join us as we deal with the unspoken truths of motherhood head on, supporting mums and worn out vaginas everywhere!
Want to discuss how you are feeling about being a mum, warts and all, NO JUDGEMENT? Come join the No Bullshit Mum Revolution and pop into The Confessional to chat to other likeminded and straight talking mums, follow us on Twitter @thebabybible and on the closed Facebook Group by sending your email address to Olivia@the-baby-bible.com