I must admit, I go on quite a few dates, and I love them. I love the awkwardness, I love the moment at the end of a date when women pretend to reach for their wallets. What I love the most is when you realise that your swipe to the right might actually end up in a few months of great fun.
I feel like in today's society, we have given ourselves an almost unfair time limit, in which it's acceptable to have sex. Looking back on my dating history, there's been no specific length of time - it happens when it feels right.
In a world where sex has become as accessible and easy as doing your weekly Ocado shop, when do we know when if it's the right time to shag for the first time with a new partner?
For some people, a snog on a first date is a bit much, but to me it's wonderful and essential. And just to be clear, lunch dates do not count as dates; unless wine is involved that is! Lunch dates without alcohol are almost an unwritten contract that you are entering into a monotonous and business-like relationship, where after a year you will get married and have children the year after. Obviously, it's different for everyone, but I want to have fun when dating someone new.
I want to be able to get hammered on a date, and say stupid things that I probably shouldn't say, I want to go for that one drink too many and end up snogging in the back of an Uber (to whose house it doesn't matter), and ending up feeling awful at work the next day. All with that smug glow of knowing in the back of your head that you got to first base. To me, that's how I want to live.
But does this mean we should go to bed with a new partner straight away? I feel that we should all be free to do what we want, but I always feel like by the third date, foreplay should almost certainly be guaranteed, if not sex, by society's rules. I've always heard that date three is the right night to really ramp it up. You've got to know each on dates one and two, and by date three you should have a good idea about who the other person is. It's impossible to ignore chemistry, so why should we?
What puzzles me though, is the thought that this pressure is becoming normal. Is it now the case that we're setting a terrible example for the younger generation, who will now grow up thinking that you have to have sex on the third date? I wonder if it's simply right to teach that sex is special, but in all honesty I believe that every person, and situation is different.
It was only last year that I waited three months to sleep with my ex-girlfriend. Although at the time I thought it was slightly excessive, I knew it was what we wanted. I respected her wishes, knowing that she didn't want to be just a one night stand. We were together for a year, and it was a wonderful time in my life. I was glad we waited, as I didn't want her to feel pressured before she was ready.
What I'm trying to say, at the end of all this, is to not worry about the pressure. Go at your own pace and do what feels right to you.