As Paddy turned 28 this week he deciced to take the week off and be fed grapes by ladies in togas, so his old school friend and TV comicRyan Cullen takes the helm for the week.
And on the 29th year, he rose again
What type of world would we live in if it didn't involve fake deaths, three billion dollar offers, crack smoking mayors and even Chinese reform? Reality? Surely not? In what can only be described as a 'turbulent' week, we have seen stories surface from seemingly poor political and financial decisions to the downright bizarre.
The vast majority of us now own an iPhone or a smartphone (if you don't, you should probably put down your tamagotchi and leave the 90's behind). Some incredible Apps have come and gone with many new ones sure to tingle our technology laced taste buds. I personally snapchat my Grandmother every morning with my rosary beads in hand, just to let her know I'm safe and well in this big bad world. For those of you who don't know what Snapchat is (or are from Papa New Guinea or Wales), it's basically an App that allows you to send videos and photos for a set time limit before disappearing, seemingly forever. 23 year old CEO Evan Spiegel received an offer of approximately $3billion dollars from Facebook. And due to the rash and quick thinking principles that provided the basis for his successful app, he reportedly turned down the spectacular offer in 4.2 seconds. Will he regret the decision? My guess is that he already lying flat out on his staircase, crying with a half empty bottle of gin slowly sliding from his grasp.
From Elvis to 2Pac, there have been many stories over the years claiming supposedly dead celebrities are actually alive and well, living in a beach house in Honolulu being hand fed grapes from Victoria's Secret models. Who is next to supposedly rise from the dead and back to former glory? Who else but beloved actor/comedian Andy Kaufman. After dying in a hospital of lung cancer with witnesses present in 1984, Michael Kaufman (Andy's brother) appeared at the Andy Kaufman Awards on Monday night held annual at the Gotham Comedy Club, where he spectacularly introduced a woman to the crowd who he claimed was Andy Kaufman's daughter born after his reported death, and that Andy had in fact faked his own death in order to get away from 'Andy Kaufman' (a strange method of dealing with schizophrenia). More than likely this is another hoax following a long line of previous hoaxes involved in the family, but for a couple of hours worldwide, we dreamed of seeing the 'Taxi' star back on our screens. "He who laughs last, laughs the longest", if so, Andy is literally turning in his grave.
Is Obama on his way out? Recent polls have shown that the once much loved President of the United States, could be on his way out after a landslide of negativity comparable only to the Khait disaster in the 1920's. With more Healthcare related problems than Shane MacGowan's dentist, Obama has admitted fault in his presentation of his much loved Healthcare plans, but like the vision of Burt Reynolds shouting from a cliff face with a rifle in one hand and a deer's head in the other, he delivered a speech that has promised to do America proud. At this stage is it a case of flogging a dead horse? Many Republicans would argue the horse wouldn't even be dead if an appropriate healthcare system were introduced in the first place.
In a time when Canadian politics were wishing for change, nobody expected their prayers to be answered. Unfortunately those prayers seem to have been answered by a Tesco Value Genie. Rob Ford, the crack smoking misogynist was to be their answer. Last week, this blog touched on the antics of the Toronto Mayor's drug fuelled past and yet again we were in for a treat, as reports emerged that Rob Ford had pressured a female employee into giving him oral sex. It was Rob who eventually had to take it on the chin, as increasing pressure from the media and politicians calling for his resignation. At least with this track record, he would always land a part in 'Two And A Half Men' ,as Charlie Sheen's obvious predecessor. Even in China, plans to abolish the 'one child per couple' policy have gone underway due to the fear that it will create a ridiculous 'Russian-Doll' type situation in many years to come.
This week saw the release of this year's biggest and highly anticipated blockbuster movie 'Gravity'. With thousands of excited fans flocking to theatres nationwide, the general consensus from the thousands of blog posts was that many cinema go-ers where brought right back down to earth (I'm so so sorry). Many critics labelled the film 'unrealistic', due to the fact if Sandra Bullock had begun to float off into space in real life, no rescue attempt would have been made. The acting profession can be a dangerous work environment and this week, two of Hollywood's leading men are testament to this. During the filing of the upcoming flick 'Nightcrawler', Jake Gylenhaal was rushed to a nearby hospital requiring extensive stitching after he apparently punched a mirror. My guess is that he lost it after the dawning realisation that he is literally just Jared Leto and Tobey Maguire rolled into one. Zac Efron also put Obama's new healthcare plan to work as the teen heartthrob slipped in a puddle outside his LA mansion and broke his jaw. No jokes even needed here, as the thought was pleasurably enough.