This is a hard article to write, and it's probably going to be a hard article for you to read.
But it's important to talk about it...
Because that uncomfortable feeling around talking about or even thinking about suicide is just one reason suicide has become the leading killer of men under the age of 50.
Why do men kill themselves?
In fact, why does a man take his own life every 2 hours in the UK alone?
Isn't it time we did something?
I strongly believe so.
After losing my Dad to suicide 6 years ago, I've consistently asked the same question many others who've been affected by suicide ask... Why?
Why did he do it?
I've dropped into depression myself, I've experienced that deep dark hole many men will experience in their life and I've seen why suicide can become not just a choice... but the only choice.
Can suicide really be a choice if it's the only choice available?
I'm sure that's what my Dad felt, as ourselves and people around us kept asking the question of why he did it.
He had a well paid full time job, ran a Physiotherapy business from home in the evenings, had two sons, a wife who was his childhood sweetheart...
He had so many 'reasons' why he shouldn't do it.
But through his breakdown his pain was far greater than any reason to stay here.
His perception of life had collapsed, darkened, and to him he'd lost all choice in life.
In fact in reflection the only choice he was in full control of was should I end this pain or fight it for another day?
When someone is in the situation of killing themselves they're in control which is a feeling that makes them feel complete.
They feel like they're not in control of any other situation of their life, but this situation right here right now, on the brink of taking their own life is their decision, it's them in control.
* Me and my dad on a family holiday.
When you hit that dark hole, when your perception of life collapses, the pain is far greater than anything to live for.
After listening to numerous people who survived their attempts on suicide and reflecting on my Dad's suicide, a lot of them talk about the pain in which they wanted to end.
Not wanting it to hurt anymore, wanting the pain they're going through to go away.
When you think of it, dying is physically painful...
But the pain they're in at the time of making that decision is far greater than the physical pain they'll endure.
Something I've never really shared before stands out to me here...
When my Dad decided to walk in front of a lorry reports from witnesses say after the collision... he smiled.
The physical pain he endured from the collision took away a far greater pain of his mental illness.
The pain is over.
My Dad was in the best physical shape a guy in his mid 40's could be when he died, but he never got the support for his unexpected fall to his mental health.
We need to understand this pain, so we can better treat and understand the people in the situation.
We weren't given a manual on how to deal with it, and neither was my Dad.
If my Dad had broke his leg he'd be sent home in a cast, and we'd have instructions on how he'd get better. We'd be told to help him rest for a few weeks, he'd be told when he could get back to walking, back to running and back to full recovery. We'd be told what medication he was on and when he should take it...
When my Dad had a breakdown we had no instructions, we had no manual to know how to support him.
We took him to the doctors who prescribed some anti-depressants and he was sent home.
Suicide is a subject people avoid talking about, people don't like to admit the times they've felt suicidal and this silence is a huge factor behind the shocking statistics right now.
4,624 isn't just a number, it isn't just a statistic, it's the amount of men who took their own life in the UK last year.
The pain we went through as a family after my Dad took his own life, the pain we saw him go through, the amount of people around him it effected on paper just added an extra number to that ever rising figure.
As you read this you yourself have probably been affected by suicide, or at least know someone who is.
So let's do something about it... Read the full article and my 4 suggestions to overcome suicide.