29/12/2014 07:50 GMT | Updated 28/02/2015 05:59 GMT

Having It All? Or Spreading Yourself Thinner Than Marmite?

Why do us girls spread ourselves so thinly now that just being in the here and now is harder and harder to achieve? I don't see my husband suffering in the same way. In fact, he manages one thing at a time, at the pace of a snail that's got a cannabis problem - which, of course, also drives me to distraction

So fashion is ma thang. That's normally what drives me to write, what floats my boat on a daily basis, pushes my buttons, gets me out of bed and makes me slip off my seat with joy (sorry for being vulgar but have you seen some of the new season boots? Who needs sex when you have the Net-A-Porter app? *lights imaginary cigarette*).

Having not written on Huffington for a while, now felt like a good time for a post. So here I am. As I perched in my study trying to think which fashion trends you simply HAD to know about, my first thought was to fill you in on some rather fabulous and delicious designer vintage finds I stumbled upon recently. But I actually need an emotional unload instead. You can call it a moan, a confession, an outpouring of guilt or admittance. I'm thinking of you as my diary. This is just between us right?

Lately, my head is so full to burst that it's the most empty it's ever been. Business ideas fighting with each other for space, 'to do' lists growing and growing, friends to remember to text, poke, tweet, send cards to, buy gifts for children I never see, organise social events to see friends who don't do social media and need interaction on a physical and not virtual basis, get roots done (who knew grey hairs could sprout that fast!), buy school uniform for new term (shit I forgot about this), have some 'me' time, exercise off a box of mince pies, detox (both physically and digitally), remember to shag husband (although he normally reminds me), stop drinking wine in the week (bollox to this actually), go get an amazing facial from my girlfriend who does all the celebs (facials that is - not 'does' in the biblical sense), do own wardrobe detox after preaching to clients all the time, take dogs for a walk before all of them get arthritis, phone best friend, see best friend for copious amount of wine, write business plan for business that needs investment, do some charitable work again, restart yoga classes, stop eating bread, learn to meditate (that Headspace app is gathering dust again), be a nicer person and try hard not to tell people who cold call the house to talk about helping me with my energy bills to 'f**k off' (even though they mostly deserve it)....

So you get my drift. Head massively full, all these things constantly swirling around in my head, wanting attention and writing to do lists only seems to aggravate the situation. I tried reading some self help books but after a chapter or two, down goes the book, I pick up a fashion mag, gaze at my Twitter feed or I stare blankly into space trying to shush my busy head and digest what I've just read. I am desperately trying to learn to meditate, but my brain is continuously on fast forward mode, leaving me less 'ommmm' and more 'omfg'...

So what is the answer? Why do us girls spread ourselves so thinly now that just being in the here and now is harder and harder to achieve? I don't see my husband suffering in the same way. In fact, he manages one thing at a time, at the pace of a snail that's got a cannabis problem - which, of course, also drives me to distraction. Multi-tasking now seems like multi-failing! Is it just a woman thing?

Writing about this is pretty cathartic I suppose. I clearly see that I need to digitally detox, spend time looking at the sky more, walk my dogs and listen to my kids instead of having witty repartee on social media and post less pictures of my dogs wearing hats, dresses and sniffing each others backsides....

For years I have thrived on the thrill of the ever-busy, it's how I roll. Or is it? Is it a perpetual state that I am so used to surviving on that being in the here and now seems so strange that it feels like I'm being lazy?

I know that social media is pointed at as the baddy most of the time, but generally, for all the moaning about over connection, it has opened up such amazing possibilities for those who want to engage.


For business, I couldn't live without Linkedin. In my work in the City, it's essential for hooking up, contacting people and getting new business for myself and my partner. Socially I have met some rather wonderful people via Twitter that have only enhanced my life, making my time-line a go-to when I need a laugh. For my fashion business, Fashionseeker, Twitter and Facebook have been a life line at getting us both clients and directing people to the website. But there's a fine line between enjoying social media and living your life on there. We all have those friends on Facebook who constantly post what a wonderful time they're having, when in reality their life isn't as great as it looks. In fact it's shit. And you KNOW it because they told you that time over vodka cocktails. Ahhh vodka, that amazing tongue loosening, truth telling drink...sorry I digress.

So dear reader, in 2015, I am going to practice doing one thing at a time. NO MORE MULTI-TASKING. No more ironing, tweeting, listening to music and rearranging my jewellery drawer. No more writing, reading and uploading photos. No more taking my dogs for a walk as an excuse to phone my Mum for half an hour chat. No more bleaching the toilet whilst on the phone to my Dad. And when I write, I'm going to just write. Not write and stroke the dog. Not write and empty the dishwasher. It can all just wait.

I'll be back to report on my progress.....

NB I might have been crossing my fingers for some of the above - I can't stop stroking the dog....