16/06/2015 13:26 BST | Updated 16/06/2016 06:59 BST

Six Things That Happen at Every Wedding

Wedding season is upon us; the save the dates are on the fridge, the hotels are getting booked and we're buzzing about seeing old friends. Oh, how we love a good wedding. Here are six things that seem to happen at every single one...


Image Source via Pixabay


"I haven't got anything to wear"

We love an excuse to dress up and often feel the pressure of buying a whole new outfit for the day. But as soon as we arrive at the ceremony we remember that no one gives a flying feck if you are re-using last season's suit or dress. It's all about the bride/groom and bride/groom, of course.


"I'm definitely going to pace myself"

You are absolutely not.


Image Source via Pixabay

We are aware that daytime drinking can be a dangerous game but at a wedding it's completely unavoidable. Our inner 'Frank the Tank' appears by about 2pm and before we know it (and after guzzling the place dry of bubbles and wine) it turns into 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, MORE'. As we sink the drink we become more halloween fright than wedding chic but that won't stop us taking 20 selfies with complete strangers. Oh dear.


"Is Uncle Nigel doing the worm?"

He sure is. All of the kids are running in circles while SCREAMING, Aunt Sally has kicked off her heels and started a conga and cousin Kevin is trying a never-seen-before breakdancing move. Well, if you can't beat 'em...

I believe that deep in our subconscious we must be choreographing our most outrageous moves months before, ready to unleash them on a wedding reception dance floor. We throw our hands in the air like we just don't care (until we realise it was all caught on camera for the bloody wedding video).


"I didn't want to catch it, anyway"


​​Image Source via Pixabay

This (somewhat sexist) tradition causes the following reactions:

The single ladies feel mortified for being...well...singled out.

The not-yet-engaged-but-waiting-for-it ladies try not to seem too keen and stand at the back (but they've just spent the last 20 minutes stretching and are quite clearly ready to jump).

And at the wedding I was at most recently - we experienced the very first rugby line-out lift attempt (although we were all too drunk to remember how this turned out).


"Place your bets"

We listen, laugh until it hurts and have a little cry. We roll our eyes at the awkward heckles while trying to stop ourselves from shouting out, too. We stand/wobble and raise a glass and then, of course, we hope that the total amount of time taken on the speeches came to 22 minutes so that we can collect our winnings.


"We will"


​​Image Source via Pixabay

Above all (no matter how many jaegers we destroyed), we always leave on an absolute high knowing that we have spent the day with two people celebrating their love for all to see. *Sob*.

This post was first published on lifestyle site, Ensemble.