29/02/2012 06:05 GMT | Updated 29/04/2012 06:12 BST

Spotify: The Terrorists have Won

I really really hate "the terrorists have won" people. The stereotypical one is the tin hat man who is callous about 9/11, 7/7 and would rather be able to pop on board a plane with a knife than stay safe from the eminent danger of a terrorist attack. Well reader, I think the terrorists may have won and I think you might do too.

I was told about this band I should have heard of previously - Summer Camp - and started to listen, really delicious and happy, my inner misanthrope was screaming and dissolving until the end of one song, then the advert came on. Yeah, I'm too cheap for Spotify premium so on came an advert by Metropolitan police telling me: Oh Rex, your neighbours PROBABLY trying to kill you.

"It wasn't that, it's actually a really reasonable advert!" cries my critic, "the advert even says 'it's probably nothing'!" and they're completely right, but it isn't even nearly about that. You see the difference between a "the terrorists have won" stereotype and people like myself is that we see the need for counterterrorism measures, airport security needed to be heightened and there have been several high profile arrest.

I am absolutely certain that the Metropolitan police are doing what they're doing to protect the public but when they come through on Spotify adverts - one of the most in your face advertising schemes I have ever come across - and tell me "hey, that guy you know could be stockpiling chemicals to blow your bus up or maybe buying a used car to ram into an airport" I am sat here, in a pit of dread thinking "oh no, could they?". And yes, of course they could! So did I sneak a peak into next door's garden looking for some plastic bottles? Yes. Were there any? No. Did that set me more at ease? No, I've seen that gilet wearing ponce eyeing up my "I LOVE AMERICA" T shirt loads of times before, I think...

The whole thing takes an even more horribly dark turn when you consider the nature of Spotify ads. Working on the basis that - I hope you agree - an advert like this is actually quite distressing, I could shell out £10 a month to make sure I never had to hear it again. Would that ten pounds make it less likely that my neighbour wanted to bomb me ? Almost certainly not. It reminds me of this SMBC comic. Haven't the terrorists won? I mean I know that before there was no Spotify, but imagine my peace if that advert had just been for another rubbish teen movie?

Spotify is the wrong place for an advert such as that, the fact that I needed to write this rambling angry blogpost shows that in some small part the world post 9/11 is a lot more crappy than it was before.