What do rubber, nylon stockings and me have in common? According to Dolce and Gabbana, we all neatly fit under the title of "synthetic": 'a substance made by chemical synthesis, especially to imitate a natural product'.
Last week, high fashion duo Dolce and Gabbana sparked controversy with comments stating "we oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one. No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed."
There are so many things wrong with the above statement that it's really hard to know where to begin. However, this article will focus solely on the part I know most about: both myself and my wonderful brother were born through IVF.
When I was a teenager, I used to become quietly upset about being so horrible to my parents. I remember thinking, "not only had they paid a fortune to have me, but I'm not even nice."
When I told my mum this some years later, she herself was a little upset. For my parents, a return on their investment simply didn't weigh into the equation.
When I first heard that Dolce and Gabbana had been referring to IVF children as synthetic, I wasn't as offended as I thought I might be. This might be because I learned as a child to be patient with those who asked if I was a test-tube baby, born in a test-tube, or words to that effect. (The answer, by the way, is no, I'm not and I wasn't).
No, initially, what upset me more about these comments was that someone, somewhere might actually consider them correct. Those comments and the opinion-fuelled articles just like this one that follow and the comments on those blogs that follow that might just be enough to stop a loving couple from trying IVF in a bid to start a family.
That breaks my heart more than any of the other comments, names and ignorant theories I have come to know about this subject. The simple lesson here is think before you speak.
IVF is not an easy choice to make and like any would-be parents, there are hopes and dreams for their children and incredibly careful considerations to be had.
There is nothing synthetic about the hideous pain that my mum went to giving birth to us (sorry, mum), there is nothing synthetic about hugs at bedtime, family holidays and first days of school. But most prominently, there is absolutely nothing synthetic about the fact that my parents loved my brother and I so much that they did absolutely everything within their power to have us.
Because, (ironically) like Dolce and Gabbana's famous tees, I'm 100% natural, baby.