25/03/2015 11:10 GMT | Updated 25/05/2015 06:59 BST

Why Everyone Should Have A Relationship MOT.

If you buy a car, it has usually been serviced so it runs wonderfully smoothly for a while. And we so enjoy it when our car drives effortlessly. When it develops a problem, a fault, which the things we use do, we take it to the garage where an expert fixes it

Have you ever wondered why we all make such a mess of our relationships? I bet you have. It costs us our good night's sleep, our hearts get terribly broken, we suffer from stress, anxiety, anger and frustration. We drink because of it and some of us smoke or worse. We cheat because of things not working out... the list just goes on and on. Worst of all, we feel like failures and we might never try a relationship again if the first time around was really bad.


Copyright: Tú Anh, Vietnam (

I did a reading on this recently, it being a topic everybody struggles with from time to time and the answer was just so simple, that I thought it would be great to share it here. Soul readings usually give images that tell us what we need to know in a different format, one we can understand better.

If you buy a car, it has usually been serviced so it runs wonderfully smoothly for a while. And we so enjoy it when our car drives effortlessly. When it develops a problem, a fault, which the things we use do, we take it to the garage where an expert fixes it. This is norma l and common sense, we also know this costs money and we are generally ok with that.

When we keep driving with a faulty car, other things in the car usually get damaged, often making the problem bigger and more costly. The car could even break down because of it or be permanently damaged to the point of no repair at all. If this was to happen it would be our own stupid fault, and we have to take responsibility for it, which we generally do, be it with a little complaining.

The reason why we ourselves don't try to fix the bigger problems in our faulty car is that we do not have enough knowledge of how to sort the problems out properly. It's not a basic skill we are taught or naturally have and we don't feel bad that we have to ask an expert that studied for it to help us with it.

All of the above is exactly the same for a relationship. It usually starts off running smoothly and we enjoy it so very much. Funny enough we think it will always run smoothly, yet like anything that we use daily, it will develop faults. Not because we are bad people, no not because of that. Like things that get used daily get worn out and need to be kept up, it is the same for a relationship, so it will need a regular service top up and it will sometimes need an expert to look at, explain a few things and help us adjust, so we can go back to running smoothly once again.

Unfortunately we feel we should know it all when it comes to relationships; we should solve it ourselves, but that often makes the problems bigger. We don't like to be examined, we don't like to talk it out, we somehow like to keep driving the faulty relationship straight into destruction thinking that if we ignore the problem it will go away! Which, when you look at it from a 'car fault' point of view, is plain stupidity!

We do not get taught how to have a superb relationship, we often come from flawed parental relationships, we don't understand our other half and we don't understand ourselves, or our own emotions and feelings, we are practically driving around without a driver's license when it comes down to being in a relationship. And we wonder why it's such a big unhappy deceiving angry mess in so many relationships worldwide...


Copyright: Tú Anh, Vietnam (

The solution is really quite simple: every relationship should get an MOT and some oil and a good servicing once a year at least, and when there is a problem that is bigger than changing the light bulb, or pouring in some fine oil, we should get an expert in for advice and help... instead of the all-too-common dragging it out until we are at each other's throats. There is NO shame in asking an expert for some help, as we simply are no experts ourselves. I'd even go so far as to say that it should be a rule for everyone in a relationship to have a check up once a year, and that MOT helps us to at least keep up a minimal standard of happiness.

Yes, it will cost us some money, but if we can do it for our car, should we not at least do it for our partners and for our own health and wealth, for our relationships as well? I'd say it's a no-brainer! Let's imagine for a moment what the world would be like if we all had our relationships running smoothly! I bet there would be less divorces, less cheating, less violence at home, less rape, less illness, less stress, in fact less anything bad! Our families are the cornerstones of our society, keeping a happy home, a happy relationship is keeping a happy self, it will make a happier, safer world... like a world with MOT'd cars is a much safer world to be driving around in...

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